Contentment Comes from the Blessing of Disappointment
Life Over Coffee
What is contentment, and how do we acquire it? Did you know it is the gift of the person who can live well on any point of the abundance to emptiness spectrum? Finding contentment seems elusive in our frantic and distracted world. Other matters weigh in vying to control our hearts. Contentment becomes a memory, an old friend from another era when you reminisced, a day where quietness was commonplace, and needs were few. The question remains: how do you find it? Did you know contentment comes from learning how to live with everything or nothing at all?
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Suffering and Leadership, the Gifts You Need
Life Over Coffee
Have you ever thought about how suffering works hand-in-hand with the gift of leadership? When a person is suffering, they must know how to lead themselves through it or become victims of their suffering.
Christian men, women, and children must not choose to "sit this one out." Analogous to Christ in Gethsemene, when the men were sleeping on the job while He suffered. He suffered and He led. Suffering well assumes leading well.
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I Met a Christian Who Refuses to Walk Away from His Sin
Life Over Coffee
Can a Christian walk away from God? To help work through this question, we must first recognize and accept that Christianity is not neat, and sin has never been respectful of our preferred categories. We also have to admit that this conversation is subjective in nature: we cannot know what is happening in a person’s heart or all the ancillary issues that contribute to why a person would “accept and reject” Christ. The Hebrew writer is suggesting there can be this kind of Christian—a believer who spurns the grace he once received for whatever reasons. What does that mean? How are we to think about friends who reject Christ?
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A Reasonable Response to the Gun Control Debate
Life Over Coffee
When mass shootings happen, many reasonable people stand on all sides of the gun control debate. Some folks want to limit the number of guns we have and how we use them. Others want to eliminate them altogether. Then there are those who want more freedom regarding firearms. The debate is ongoing, but it always intensifies when there is a murder. These shootings rip out our hearts as we try to comprehend what happened. It does not matter how many times you hear of it or how much violence you watch on television; when you hear a story about people killing people, the sadness overwhelms you.
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How to Prepare Your Heart When a Tragedy Happens
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Sometimes the English language is inadequate for conveying our thoughts. Words always seem to fall short when there is a personal or national tragedy. Tragedies remind me of Job’s friends who made a wise choice in the beginning not to speak so quickly. Horrific events render our minds into something like a busy intersection in gridlock. Each time I hear of one, I mentally pause, reflect, and mourn. You do this too because we’re Christians. We care. We also want to prepare our hearts as we respond to terrible events.
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Three Tips For Moving Forward When Things Are Hard
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Moving forward in faith—believing God can do all things well for me— is one of the hardest things to do in our fallen world, especially when the decisions are difficult. Because of the complexity of deciding big things to move forward with life, the main thing I must do is make sure I have God’s perspective on the thing I’m thinking about doing. Without His sovereign clarity, my sight-lines will lower to a man-centered view, which will spell disaster. Thus, to move forward while guided by God’s perspective, I must understand and practice these three essential, sequential steps.
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Causes and Cure for Anger
Life Over Coffee
The angry person elevates himself above others so he can sin against them. This angry heart attitude means the person is self-righteous.
You can't be sinfully angry with someone unless you elevate yourself above them. Sinful anger is always looking down on another person.
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What to Do When You Can’t See What You Should See
Life Over Coffee
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Have you ever had a good run with the Lord, and then all of a sudden, you were surprised by your lack of faith? Something caught you off guard. It’s one of those, “Just when you’re doing well, then, bam, something bad happens” scenarios. I’m not pessimistic here, but sometimes our faith is hit from the blindside, and we’re perplexed and in need of a reboot.
“I Am Mad at God. There, I Said It.”
Life Over Coffee
God is calling us to trust Him. There is a plan for this, and we are part of His plan. The tension, of course, is that He’s the author of our stories, and we are not. Preferably, I want to be the writer of my story rather than trust the Sovereign story writer. During most of our daily affairs, we do trust God; it’s only when things begin to fly sideways that the call to trust come under attack. When the heat in our lives intensifies, the temptation is to react in self-reliant ways because we’re not getting the life we had hoped God would provide.
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How to Have Deep Relationships
Life Over Coffee
The most important relationship in your life is with God. And the most practical way to experience Him is in a community of like-minded believers who are intentional about helping each other mature in their relationships with Him.
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Read Rick's 3-Part Communication Series: Pt. 1 – https://bit.ly/2AKK0hn Pt. 2 – https://bit.ly/32OQkQK Pt. 3 – http://bit.ly/2rbOOUr
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Pick an Enemy! Now, Will You Do What Jesus Said: Love Them?
Life Over Coffee
Roll through your mental index, identifying the kind of person or people group you do not prefer, those you typically avoid? They do things you don’t like. Their attitude, mannerism, behavior, worldview, or [fill in the blank] is not your cup of tea. Perhaps it’s something your spouse, child, parent, or church member does. Maybe it’s that Christian hypocrite who needs to “get a life” or someone who has different strengths and weaknesses from yours. Do you have that person in mind? Great! Let’s proceed by applying the Lord’s mandate to love your enemy.
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Four Talks on Truth, Contentment, Relationships, and Submission
Life Over Coffee
What do truth, contentment, relationships, and submission have in common? Recently, Rick shared these ideas with a few of his Mastermind Students. Then he put those thoughts in four short videos. This podcast is the audio version of those vitally relevant talks on living well with God and others in His world.
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I’m Angry at God Because He Did Not Help Me
Life Over Coffee
A counselor friend asked how you encourage someone when they are angry at God for what happened to them? The lady is mad because Sovereign Lord did not protect her from horrific victimization. He has been meeting with her for weeks, and wondered if he should give similar counsel the Lord gave to Job, “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you have understanding. Shall a faultfinder contend with the Almighty? He who argues with God, let him answer it.” His question is intriguing and needs careful examination when helping the unchanging, hurt soul.
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How to Trust the Author of Your Story, a Personal Testimony
Life Over Coffee
In September 2020, Triangle Community Church in Apex, North Carolina, asked Rick to share his testimony, including his pre-salvation childhood and upbringing, regeneration, subsequent divorce, and the aftermath, which led to what he does today. Rick will be leading a men’s retreat for TCC, and the leadership wanted to introduce him to their church. This video/podcast is that testimony.
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To Those Who Are Angry with God for the Life They Have
Life Over Coffee
Everybody is a victim. We all received a raw deal. And life is not fair. I’m not mocking anyone, but merely stating the obvious. Nobody comes into the world unscathed. We’re fallen individuals. In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve’s dastardly deed sent the world and all its inhabitants into the mire of deep, dark, unsalvagable sin. No exceptions. But it gets worse. After we arrived in this cursed world, people began piling on, hurting us. Not to be outdone, we hurt others too, which leaves us with the most crucial question we could ask ourselves: Will our negative narratives rule us, or will we flip those tragedies and make them redemption stories?
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Guard Against the 4 Steps to Depression
Life Over Coffee
Depression is an issue for some folks. Did you know that the steps to depression begin in a possible imperceptible place? It starts with disappointment. If you let your disappointment linger, you will go down a path that could land you into depression. Rick talks about these steps to depression in this video.
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The Reason I Stopped Hating My Dad Was Life-Changing
Life Over Coffee
Every child to varying degrees is treated poorly by a parent. I wish I had another story to tell. Victimization is not okay or straightforward, but it is a fact about the fallout of fallenness. If the child does not know how to process the hurt or cast it on Christ, they will probably grow up bitter, as I did. The good news is that even if you find yourself in the snare of bitter victimization, there is a way out. There is help and hope because Christ came to set captives free, which is what He did for me.
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Spiritual Warfare: Tips for Fighting in the Spirit World
Life Over Coffee
We live in two worlds at the same time, the physical and spiritual. We can see, touch, taste, smell, hear and intimately engage each other in the physical realm. The spiritual world is all around us, too. But differently. We cannot touch, taste, smell, hear or see this world, but it is just as real. Imagine this: it takes all our lives to learn how to live well in the physical world. What about the unseen realm? How difficult it must be to live well with what we cannot see. The temptation would be natural to dismiss the spiritual world, but that would be a mistake.
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The Anniversary of the Worst Day of My Life
Life Over Coffee
Two radically different things are knowing God through personal study and experiencing Him in the crucible of suffering. This autobiographical short story briefly walks you through the worst day of my life, the day I met the Lord in the crucible of suffering. Everything changed that day, and it took years to process His fearful work in my life. The good news is that after He completed this phase of my life, I was on the right track for an unimaginable adventure with God. But first, the hard part.
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Ten Keys to Reducing the Noise In Your Soul
Life Over Coffee
A caring community of disciple-makers is an excellent way of finding rest while living in a disruptive world. An intentional and purposeful community can draw out the noise in your soul while replacing it with compassionate and competent care. If you are part of a small group, especially your family, I urge you to make this a conversation topic soon. Challenge your friends to come alongside you to pursue you for the glory of God.
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10 Sequential Steps When Correcting Others
Life Over Coffee
When it comes to correcting others, we are all over the map. We can do it harshly. We may choose to do it behind their backs. Others decide to cave to their insecurities, daring not to bring up the tough conversation. Perhaps you shouldn’t, but you must understand and practice the sequential steps for correcting others if you do correct someone.
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The Art and Care of Correction Among Friends
Life Over Coffee
New Testament sanctification typically happens in corporate contexts, not in isolation. It is appropriate to say that you can do many things by yourself, but sanctification is not one of those things; it’s not possible to image the Trinity by living apart from the community of faith. The apostle Paul mainly wrote to local churches, teaching those communities how to do mutual, reciprocal life together. One of the vital keys to robust community life is understanding the value and appropriateness of corrective care.
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How to Respond When Someone Gossips to You
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Shows Main Idea – What do you do when someone data-dumps on you about someone else? You did not ask for it, but the person gossiped about another person—perhaps a friend of yours—and it was unsolicited. These situations are almost always messy, leaving you uncomfortable and challenged to respond humbly and biblically to the gossiper. In most cases, this is not the first time the gossiper gossiped, which ratchets the need to do something about it because gossip is a spiritual cancer that divides friendships and churches.
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Two Keys to Mature Into the Best Rest You Can Have
Life Over Coffee
There are many kinds of rest, i.e., power naps, sleeping, vacations, your career, mental breaks, coffee breaks, and the list continues. But there is one rest that transcends them all, and nobody will enjoy the fullest possibilities of rest until they learn and practice this one. It's a transcendent rest that rises above them all. There are two keys to ascertaining this most exquisite rest.
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The Perfect Self-Help Book That Will Change Your Life
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If you want to change your life, you need a self-help book to guide you through the process. The good news is that there is a perfect book for you. It’s called the Bible, the world’s most perfect psychology book. Yes, the best psychology book; I will explain that later. There is not a better system of thought than the Bible when it comes to life change. If you’re ready for a radical transformation, keep reading.
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The Difference Between Believing and Knowing Something
Life Over Coffee
Believing something and knowing something are two different things. Though knowing something is more important than believing something, we connect them because whatever it is we know, it flows into our belief systems. And our beliefs systems will pour into our practices. The formula is knowledge creates beliefs, which form our practices. If our knowledge comes from something outside of God's Word, it will alter our belief systems and practices, which could be detrimental to any individual and their relationships.
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The Beauty and Perversion of Mercy and Justice in Inter-personal Relationship
Life Over Coffee
Justice and mercy are not in conflict in healthy relationships; they complement each other because they bring the necessary balance that helps friends mature into a complete Christlikeness. The downside is that some people lean too heavily into mercy, excluding the essential corrective care, warning, or justice that friends provide for friends. Of course, the heavy-handed, mean-spirited, authoritative types speak of justice, but it's perverted. When you can pneumatically care for others by applying mercy and justice appropriately and practically, you're a good friend.
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Living Well Requires a Transcendent View of Suffering
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Shows Main Idea – A theology of suffering is a theoretical reality with life-transforming implications if we can live it out robustly and practically, with God’s fame and the benefit of the community in view. Of course, the saying is true: “It’s easier said than done.” Learning how to live well with suffering should be every Christian’s desire because the promise from God, in the beginning, was that life would be a suffering one. In this episode, Rick presents four crucial ideas for those who dare learn these lessons.
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Five Things to Know If You Want God's Word to Master You
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Bible knowledge is incredible and a non-negotiable for any serious believer. But knowledge without application is futile, practically speaking. For the Bible to master any of us, we have to do more than read it. Think of it like two silos side by side. One is full of knowledge, and the other is replete with application. If you're building your life that way, you're at the best possible place in your Christian maturity.
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A Practical Three-Step Plan to Lose Weight
Life Over Coffee
Authentic health initiatives require both body and soul transformation. In my article, Let's Talk about Losing Weight, Practically Speaking, I spoke about this crucial worldview on body health initiatives. A comprehensive approach to losing weight is the secret sauce because behavioral modification might provide quick visual results, but if we don't change our hearts, those external transformations will revert to an old manner of living. Since I have discussed the soul aspects in the previous piece, let's touch on a few practical things that complement that soul work.
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Let's Talk About Weight Loss, Practically Speaking
Life Over Coffee
One of the most sensitive subjects we can talk about today is weight loss. It matters not if you're a Christian; image-type discussions are more personal than the things we cannot observe about each other. Some folks are so opposed to talking about it that they have redefined what overweight and obesity are; we prefer to think of ourselves as body positive regardless of how healthy we might be or what comorbidities we're accumulating. Thankfully, the Bible cuts through the confusion with clarity that helps us change into Christlike vessels, inside and out.
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Four Types of People Susceptible to Despair
Life Over Coffee
Someone once said a rut is like a coffin with both ends knocked out. I've been in one of those coffin-like ruts. For ten years! It's an awful place to find yourself. Seasons like these make walking with God challenging. Prayers seem to be the vain exercises of the religious, while faith is more of a memory from a blissful past. Through personal experience and counseling others, I've encountered four groups who get stuck in a rut.
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Your Value to Others Comes from What You Provide
Life Over Coffee
The most popular people are those who do things for others. If you have something to give, a product or service, for example, people will want what you have to offer. Generally speaking, most people will leave you alone if you have nothing to give. This concept might sound strange on the surface, but it is how God wants us to live: He has asked us to love Him and others more than ourselves. Thus, our instinctive orientation should be outward, not inward. However, this concept has complicating factors that need our attention.
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How to Think Straight When the Gaslighter Is Gaslighting You
Life Over Coffee
Gaslighting is a modern term for an old habit. It's a psychological maneuver to manipulate a person to believe something untrue. The gaslighter is lying, exchanging the truth for a lie to benefit an ungodly agenda. You could say that gaslighting is an attempt to drive someone crazy. Understanding it and responding biblically to these relational tug-o-wars is vital.
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How to Identify and Benefit from Genuine Friendships
Life Over Coffee
Finding good friends begins with defining the word friends. We have Facebook friends, and we have our most intimate friendships. Between those two points on the “friendship map” are many other categories within the friendship nomenclature. Identifying your best friends and carefully assessing those you don’t want in your inner circle is vital for obvious reasons. In this podcast, I’m examining the ins and outs of building great friendships and how to create distance from those who are not ready for a higher level of transparency.
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A Practical Mind Map That Teaches You How to Manage Money
Life Over Coffee
Part of every Christian’s calling is to take care of their Father’s money. Stewarding finances is one of the many privileges that He gives to His children. It’s a stunning thought to think that God would entrust something so needful to steward for our good and His fame (Psalm 24:1-2). Of course, money matters are among the most significant concerns for individuals and couples, which is why I’ve built this practical mind map that will help you spread God’s fame by managing His money well.
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How Do You Want to Suffer, With or Without God?
Life Over Coffee
All people born in Adam have no choice about personal suffering (Genesis 2:16-17). It is part of the human condition. Not even Christ could escape it. To be human is to suffer. Knowing this reality about suffering is the bad news, but there is good news, too. We can choose the conditions for our suffering. We can experience our trouble with or without God. If you reconcile that human suffering is life-long, then the all-important question is, which option would you choose?
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Ten Things to Consider When You Confront Someone
Life Over Coffee
Confrontation is one of those sticky things many people shy away from because they prefer the path of least resistance. Why get in a dust-up with someone where feelings are hurt and the relationship may change forever? Of course, the obvious answer is that our allegiance must be to God, and honoring His Word is essential to fortifying that allegiance. The question then becomes, what are a few biblical tips when you find yourself in the undesirable place of a potential confrontation?
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Do Unkind and Unfair Judgments Manage You?
Life Over Coffee
How do you feel when inconsiderate people say unkind things about you? If you're like me, it stings a bit. It's exceptional for a person to shrug off uncharitable comments completely. In these unsavory moments, sometimes a person will throw up Matthew 7:1—Judge not, that you be not judged—like an impulsive shield. This text is not our best defense against unfair judgments. A gospel-orientated mindset becomes our soul's most potent anchor against unkindness, which begs the question: If unkind words manage my emotions, what am I missing that gives them that kind of power?
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How to Respond to Angry People With Too Many Needs
Life Over Coffee
Anger is a relationship fracturing phenomenon that happens too often between individuals. The angry heart desires something from someone who does not provide it or is not responding quickly enough. Because their desire is not finding satiation, the craving soul begins to manipulate the other person with anger. I'm speaking of sinful anger, of course. It is as though they are saying, "I will only be content if you meet this need." In nearly all these cases, the short-tempered person has too many needs.
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The Problem With Cursing the Sun
Life Over Coffee
God promised that life would be challenging because of the fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:17-19), and all those who came from the first couple would struggle similarly (Romans 5:12). From the fall of humanity to the end of each as we know it, the promise of pain, suffering, difficulty, and personal problems is what it means to live in a fallen world as fallen creatures. It sounds gloomy because it is, but this dose of reality must be our worldview and baseline understanding if we want to live well in God's world while avoiding the temptation to anger when things do not go our way.
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Anger, Alleviation, and a Quest to Be God
Life Over Coffee
All Christians bring parts of their past lives into their new salvation experience with God. If we do not see how we carry over these things from our pasts, we will continue to accommodate our old habits, practices, and delusions (Ephesians 4:22). The consequences can be awful. The aim is to identify and break those old patterns that have always been with us so we can live a life for God and others.
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To Be Angry Is to Be a Puppet on a String
Life Over Coffee
Angry people are like puppets on strings, always controlled by their cravings for something they cannot get from others. James said, "You desire and cannot have, so you murder." The cure comes when they see how these heart cravings, even good desires, control them rather than God, and attempting to manipulate others to give them what they want is futile and relationally suffocating.
You may read or listen to the article here: https://bit.ly/3gtbCcG
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When You Get Angry, Do You See Yourself Correctly?
Life Over Coffee
Sinful anger is a universal problem. Everybody does it. For many people, it’s the most recurring sin pattern in their lives. It’s easier to be harsh than kind, to uncharitably judge than think the best, to shut people down than build them up. For the individual who does not want to stay stuck in sinful anger, the number one key to overcoming this habit is seeing yourself correctly. Like all our sinful patterns, if we don’t place the log carefully into our eyes, we’ll never successfully work through any anger problems we may have. Having a correct biblical vision is the perfect starting point.
Read or listen here: https://rickthomas.net/when-you-get-angry-do-you-see-yourself-correctly/
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Silent Treatment Is the Sanitized Version of Murder
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Expressing anger through silence is an all-too-common communication conflict in too many relationships. The silent partner pretends the other person does not exist by ignoring them. Silent treatment sounds horrible enough, but if you place it within James’s framework for anger, what we’re talking about is murder. Though consequentially not as bad as physical murder, it’s a heinous sin nonetheless.
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Narcissism: Limitations of Labels and Descriptive Psychology, Part Two
Life Over Coffee
The desire for someone to understand and validate our suffering can be so strong that when someone does it, we give them the authority to provide their solutions, too. This mindset is dangerous, but it often happens, primarily when the soul care provider uses descriptive secular language to describe the problem. One of the more common cultural labels is narcissism, which has a host of sub-categories that define the word.
Watch Part One: https://youtu.be/T4-xmhxrFv4
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Narcissism Is a Bad Label for a Real Problem, Part One
Life Over Coffee
The word narcissist is not the best way to describe this type of selfish person. When we bring cultural language into our Christian speak, we adopt their worldview and "solutions" for the problem, which are not solutions at all. Narcissism is a lazy, catch-all word that describes all sorts of selfish behavior. The Bible has a better way to think about this person.
Watch Part Two: https://youtu.be/5lu-tDkUNr8
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Make Sure Your Future Relationship Doesn't Look Like This
Life Over Coffee
This podcast interview brings insight from a young adult who has engaged her friendships and culture. She sees essential things you want to avoid and a few essentials to build well with a future spouse. Whether you are interested in someone or dating with the intent of getting married, here are a few red flags to help illuminate where you and your significant other stands on the most vital issues for a future relationship.
Read Tristen's original article here: https://bit.ly/34fQgN6
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How to Distinguish Between Righteous and Unrighteous Anger
Life Over Coffee
There are times when it’s hard to tell if a person’s anger is righteous or not. Of course, there is the added issue of thinking the best of ourselves when it comes to our anger. Thus, the temptation to reclassify our angry moments is alluring. Righteous anger is the term we use to describe someone who is not sinning when angry; it is possible to be angry and sin not, but the question is, how do you know if your anger is righteous or unrighteous? What does righteous anger do that sinful anger cannot?
You may read the article or listen to the podcast here: https://rickthomas.net/what-is-righteous-anger/
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The Damaging Effects of Our Anger When We Don’t Own It
Life Over Coffee
Sinful anger is regularly minimized, even among Christians, especially among Christians. We often reclassify anger to lesser-sounding offenses—to better-sounding sin categories. Typically, when I talk to people about being angry, the response is usually along the lines of, “Oh no, I’m not an angry person. I think if I were angry, I would respond differently than this. I’m just frustrated.”
Read the full article or listen to the podcast here: https://rickthomas.net/damaging-effects-of-our-anger-when-we-dont-own-it/
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Practical Help When Folks Frustrate You
Life Over Coffee
When people frustrate you, it's wise not to respond in anger. Rick shares some practical thoughts from 1 and 2 Samuel, talking about why David would not harm Saul, even though Saul attempted on several occasions to kill him. There is much to learn from David's attitude toward Saul, a fellow image-bearer.
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Should You Take the Vaccine?
Life Over Coffee
I do not know if you should get a vaccine. I would not impose my view on you because the Bible does not tell us what to do specifically about this matter, which brings us back to purposeful freedom. But what I do know is that you cannot take the role of a spectator. You must activate your faith, which is the only kind of faith there is. You must make many decisions and then reacquaint yourself with them each day, adjusting what you must, and marching forth as an ambassador of Christ, courageous regardless of the cost.
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Lowering God’s Standard To Be Perfect
Life Over Coffee
If our aim is perfection, we have two options. We can strive to be perfect through our strengths or accept someone else’s perfection as ours. The first option is not tenable because we cannot live mistake-free, unless we lowered the high standard of perfection to meet its requirements, leaving us with the second option as a breath of fresh air. To have someone vouch for us by providing their perfection is grace unmerited and the privilege of every Christian.
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Eight Reasons Perfection Does Not Glorify God
Life Over Coffee
Striving for self-generated perfection is as futile as attempting to save ourselves because it perpetuates internal turmoil and frustrates our closest friends. Though God does not want us to live sloppy, haphazard lives, He does want us to know that perfection comes through our weaknesses—our inability to be perfect, not our strengths. The appeal of God’s Word is clear; if we’re going to boast, make it in our weaknesses, accompanied by His miraculous strength that operates in us.
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Four Reasons to Praise God For Your Imperfections
Life Over Coffee
Utopia does not exist on planet Earth. It’s a mirage in a desert. It’s like someone attempting to be perfect; he does not exist, either. My goal here is not to rain on anyone’s parade but to help gain a better perspective on living well in God’s world while releasing ourselves from pursuing the unrealistic, nonexistent perfect life. My concern is that some of us are uncomfortable in our skin, and as we stare at our imperfections, we hope to find something more perfect. If you’re that striving soul, I have excellent news for you; God’s strength needs your imperfection to magnify His fame for your good.
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God Is Incrementally and Purposely Putting You To Death
Life Over Coffee
Dying to ourselves is the hardest thing we will ever do, and it's not a one-time appointment with God. Death to self is a repeated act of submitting ourselves to the Lord. The good news is that He helps us in this life-long process by incrementally, systematically, and purposely putting us to death. Did you know God is working behind the scenes to undermine any remaining self-reliance in us so we can trust Him more effectively? Sometimes He must sabotage our self-sufficiency to teach us to rely on Him who raises the dead.
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It’s Easier to Trust God When You’re In Control
Life Over Coffee
It’s easier to trust God when you’re in control of things than when you’re out of control and you’re unsure what will happen next. Being in control provides you with a sense of security, confidence, and comfort, albeit it’s man-made. The downside to this human-centered worldview is that it’s misplaced faith. God calls us to trust Him, not our circumstances. He is the object of our faith, not preferred outcomes. Because of our loyalty to self-reliance, He may push us beyond our preferences and predictions to teach us to rely on Him.
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Mind Mapping: A Detailed Study In Self Reliance
Life Over Coffee
Self-reliant people live in a self-constructed, self-sustained worship structure that diverts their faith in God to rely on themselves, hoping to engineer pre-determined outcomes. It is not anyone’s real world because complete self-sufficiency is an impossible feat to achieve. No finite soul can be totally reliant. Not even Jesus had that ability—in His humanness. God did not create us to be autonomous creatures but to live within a hierarchy of trust and obedience.
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What Happens to Me When I Won’t Forgive Someone?
Life Over Coffee
Forgiveness is one of the most challenging concepts for Christians to come to terms with, especially when someone has hurt them. Recipients of unjust and unkind actions experience legitimate disappointment. Fortunately, we have the unjust suffering of Christ as a template for how to think about and respond to when someone sins against us. And as you might imagine, the pathway to follow Him has complexities and challenges, but there is grace for this. Let me explain.
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Don’t Apologize. Don’t Say, “I’m Sorry.”
Life Over Coffee
In our culture today, the phrase “I’m sorry” has become our first response when we sin against each other. The term has nearly wholly replaced biblical forgiveness. It is a passive statement that does not require the offender and offended to engage in meaningful, biblical transactional forgiveness. Perhaps “I’m sorry” is a good start in relational reconciliation, but the phrase will never complete the needed task when sin is in play and grace is available. Transactional forgiveness is the antidote that neutralizes and obliterates the sin, setting the stage for those in the transgressive dust-up to reconcile with each other.
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The Man Who Destroyed Our Home Wants Forgiveness
Life Over Coffee
Biff destroyed his marriage. Shortly after that, he experienced conviction from God for what he did. His repentance was genuine, as affirmed by his pastor, several other church leaders, and two of his workmates. In response to the Lord’s maneuvering in his heart and with the blessing and oversight of his pastor, Biff made an authentic confession to God and his wife, Mable. In a strange turn of events, the man who destroyed his family wants to be part of God’s restoration team to put it back together again. Analogous to Christ and us, the offenders cooperate with the offended for God’s glory, our benefit, and the good of others.
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Pre-forgiveness Is Essential Before You Can Genuinely Forgive
Life Over Coffee
Have you ever granted forgiveness to someone who hurt you? Did you mean it? Did you really mean it? Or did you say, "I forgive you," because it is the Christian thing to do? I'm not asking this question with a cynical eye. I'm asking because I know from personal experience there are times we can mouth the words "I forgive you," but the heart can be far from genuine. We can succumb to Christian speak to smooth over the situation, but our internal logic says we have more heart work to do to be right with God and the person we supposedly forgave.
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Ten Responses to the Friend Who Won’t Admit Wrong
Life Over Coffee
Do you have a friend who does not mind telling you what's wrong with you but never admits any of their mistakes, inadequacies, or sins? Working through and sustaining these kinds of non-reciprocating, inequitable relationships is challenging. May I walk you through ten ways to think about a friend who is more willing to admit your faults than theirs? Knowing how to lead relationships like these is vital.
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The Dangerous Doctrine of Forgiving Yourself
Life Over Coffee
Forgiving yourself is an odd teaching that has crept into Christians’ understanding of sanctification. It’s part of the culture’s futile way of thinking, hoping to get rid of their sins. They must try because they sense the same shame we do, but because they reject God and His Word, they create policies and pathways to alleviate their soul noise, always leading down dead-end streets and box canyons. Without God, they blindly grope for the walls, making self-forgiveness a culturally common sense way of feeling psychologically better. “You just need to forgive yourself” is a typical way people apply this secular doctrine within their communities.
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Am I To Forgive Someone Who Is Not Asking?
Life Over Coffee
Biff asked, “As a believer, does God’s Word require me to forgive a relative of mine time after time—essentially let her off the hook—for her unkind behavior and attitude toward me and the many cruel and untrue things she has done behind my back to other family members? She never asks for forgiveness and only tells me I need to understand her feelings. Am I wrong to stay my distance and set some boundaries?” What would you say to Biff? Have you ever had a situation like this? How did you handle it?
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Breaking Down Forgiveness, Practically Speaking
Life Over Coffee
Forgiveness is a multifaceted God-centered opportunity for two people to reconcile after there is a transgression. It’s not always straightforward because of the complexity of sin and some relationship complications. Each person must work hard to understand biblical forgiveness and do all they can to reconcile when sin divides two people. In this talk, I will walk through many aspects of forgiveness, making practical applications in various situations.
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What If I Forgive But They Never Change?
Life Over Coffee
Forgiveness is only one aspect of the change process. Forgiveness is not complete change because there are several links—after forgiveness—in the repentance sequence. However, forgiveness is a vital mile marker that leads to complete repentance, making this step non-negotiable because we cannot experience transformation without biblically forgiving each other. But what if a person keeps asking for forgiveness and never changes? What are we to do with repeat offenders?
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What to Do After Two People Forgive Each Other
Life Over Coffee
Whenever there is a sin event between two people, there will always be a need to ask for and grant forgiveness. If they do not transact forgiveness, their relationship will not be all God intends. This episode is the second of a two-part series where Rick Thomas drills deep into the elements of forgiveness. Please listen to or watch Episodes 477 and 478 to understand forgiveness fully.
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To Those Who Are Angry with God for the Life They Have
3 years ago
5
Everybody is a victim. We all received a raw deal. And life is not fair. I’m not mocking anyone, but merely stating the obvious. Nobody comes into the world unscathed. We’re fallen individuals. In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve’s dastardly deed sent the world and all its inhabitants into the mire of deep, dark, unsalvagable sin. No exceptions. But it gets worse. After we arrived in this cursed world, people began piling on, hurting us. Not to be outdone, we hurt others too, which leaves us with the most crucial question we could ask ourselves: Will our negative narratives rule us, or will we flip those tragedies and make them redemption stories?
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