20 Best Funny Short DAD JOKES, Puns & One Liners #42

#dadjokes #funny #jokes

1. What do you use to charge an electric Honda?
Accord.
2. Did you know 10% of female deer like Mario?
It's one in ten doe.
3. Where does Phil Collins record his songs?
In the stu stu studio.
4. I think shredded cheese should be banned in USA.
Make America grate again.
5. What's leather and sounds like a sneeze?
A shoe.
6. I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage.
I guess you could say it was bread in captivity.
7. I arrived two hours late to my cannibalistic family dinner...
They all gave me the cold shoulder.
8. We all know Albert Einstein was a genius,
but his brother Frank was a monster.
9. Can trees poop?
Yes. How else would we get No. 2 pencils?
10. A science teacher had his students observe and report on the condensation of moisture during the night.
The project was dew the next day.
11. To the guy who stole my anti depressants.
I hope you are happy now.
12. Never fart in an Apple store.
They don't have any windows.
13. My girlfriend said, “I am breaking up with you because of your addiction of wearing a different t-shirt every half an hour.”
I said, “Wait! I can change.”
14. "No, thanks. I'm a vegetarian."
Is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby.
15. What do you call a fish that eats bums?
A bottom feeder.
16. What did poop say when pee asked to join his gang?
Urine.
17. Why did the Egyptian Civilization decline?
It turned out to be a giant pyramid scheme.
18. It takes five minutes to walk to the pub, and 35 minutes to walk back home.
The difference is staggering.
19. What does the sign on an brothel say?
Beat it. We’re closed.
20. What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto.