Wednesday September 8, 2021 (read the description)

- (coercion?)

M wants J and my "cooperation" about going back to therapy (I need therapy, M says she's "hesitant" because 1 "obstacle" was that I said our current/most recent therapist (Dr. Sharon Braun) wasn't helping me (she (Dr. Braun) said since I hadn't left (the house) yet I "must be comfortable" - I'm not "comfortable", I just have no resources (don't know how/have been made too afraid to ask anything) and don't want to die in the streets - I can't tell M that's what I mean/why I said they weren't helping, I STILL have no resources and if I bring up wanting to move out (someday) M will just yell that since I don't like it here I could go live (die) on the streets anytime and that I can't come back/about how much *WORSE* life is going to get) (I told the Dr. Braun I was honestly thinking about walking out and living on the streets/under bridges (after she said I "must be comfortable") and she told M (what happened to 'patient confidentiality'? Dr. Braun was the one who told me that was a thing! you can guess why I'm using her name here), and M figured it OBVIOUSLY can ONLY POSSIBLY mean I'm not grateful for (food, clothes, housing, 'cool stuff/gadgets', no physical/sexual abuse, etc.) and has been slowly holding that over my head/rubbing that in my face ever since- but they're both right- I have find out what I even want (knowing it doesn't REALLY matter), and get it myself without their help just to prove I even want it ASAP- until I can, I HAVE to tell myself that "how it is HAS to be how it's SUPPOSED to be"

please pray for me and help me get myself out of this at patreon.com/AchingForStrength and ko-fi.com/achingforstrength