July 21, 2021

(J complains M "chewed him out for withdrawing from prayer because/even though that's already an argument", says I have to pray for them, I say I kind of am as well, (go lie down with earplugs and pretend to be asleep while he loudly rants the whole time) when they get back J says he'll wait until I go back to my room to say what's wrong with him but doesn't wait, leaving me stranded with no meds while he stands in the doorway (then caught between J and D kitchen waiting to look for syrup for pancakes D suddenly decided to make because "I didn't ask" (everyone is angry all the time to the point where I'm a grown woman scared to ask about syrup for pancakes - but I should be grateful for housing, clothes, food at all - anyone else in my "situation" would already have easily become successful and no longer dependent, much less feeling like no more than a pawn in somebody else's game, constantly fighting housemates (especially "of origin") would be a non-issue to anyone else (of course I'm no better for making this documentation about "how I feel" about it)