Is This Normal? (recording 1 of ♾/???)

trying to record this is a cry for help
Things are tense at the place where I currently have to "shelter in place" (it feels dangerous) - I can't help but wonder, Is this normal and I'm just THAT cowardly and hypersensitive? (Or is it ok for me to *want* to get out alive or *wish* things were different/better?)

(I don't want to die - even though my housemates think I do for wanting out - I want out because I don't want to die! I feel trapped between the virus and my toxic housemates - technically they're 'my' mom, 'dad', and 'brother', but i don't like to call them 'my' 'family' because I don't know what 'family' is.)

(spoilers: this recording isn't the most heated parts of the day, just all my phone could contain)

please Pray for me 🙇🏾‍♀️🙏🏾