Calibrating Yourself to Others

Have you ever encountered a person with a "big personality?" He walks into the room, and all eyes are on him. You sense the "temperature of the room" going up as his energy begins to affect the space. These personality types are great for parties but horrific in discipleship contexts.

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The best disciplers know how to adjust their personality to the person they are serving. They can rejoice with the rejoicers and weep with the weepers. They don't "speed up a person" by making the individual "keep up with their personality."

Contrariwise, they are not "Debbie downers," where they bring their disciple to a lower place of despair than they are currently. They are wise counselors who have self-control and wisdom.

Self-control – They can "manage their emotions," so their personality is not controlling the disciple.

Wisdom – They can discern the person they are caring for and adjust themselves to exactly be what they need at that moment.

Discipleship is not just about giving the best advice, but it's also the right kind of personality for the person who is receiving the care. This article about "micro-rhythms" talks about the importance of calibrating yourself to the individual with whom you're bringing soul care.

Every discipler cannot do this because it's a gift from the Lord. This gift is one of the things that I look for when training our students. Are they able to calibrate their personality, speech, demeanor, and words to the person in front of them?