orkambi log 2020.04.11.0121

i forgot to make a log yesterday evening and this morning. i've been without insulin for a few days now, and i've changed my diet to include higher doses of potassium. i've been feeling really good. it's been a resurrection. i'm relearning good habits. i have proper motor skills back. my mood is stable. my dream are vivid and detailed, holding a distinct narrative throughout. along with this dramatic psychological transformation, however, is an ever present cost. this has been taking a while to get used to. this is a very different way of thinking for me. it's pretty disorienting, and what's worse, is a seem to have no available guidance to help me. nobody understands this. it's entirely new territory. it also raises questions about my past. for example, growing up, i would drink a lot of milk, eat a lot of potatoes, drink ensure calorie drinks, i loved orange juice, eat bananas, mushrooms, beans, cantaloupe, and i've learned that i like tomatoes coconut water, and kiwis. all of these foods are good for potassium, which seems to indicate that many of my natural dietary inclinations were signaling to me that i need potassium, though the point had never been brought up. it's a strange observation and i don't know how to make heads or tails of it. i still need to contact my doctor about adjusting insulin and potassium needs. i know that my glucose levels are high, and that i need to remember to use the treadmill i've to to help in controlling that. life has taken a very sudden, unexpected turn, and that comes with a significant need for caution, even when the change is for the good. i feel good, but it also feels like one problem out of a hundred taken care of.