trikafta log 2020.02.20.0146

i made up my mind to walk to the ukulaliens with my banjo, but half way there i was picked up by a group member and got a ride anyway. i had a very nice time, i usually do. when i got home i did albuterol, pulmazyme, tobi, salmeterol, ten units basaglar, and even trikafta. something that i've been trying to think through is why it's so hard for me to rememer to call a therapist or a psychiatrist for the numerous problems i've been having. one such issue is this irrational fear of the dark and the paranoia that developes. at one point i even dared ask myself why this occures, i know it's irrational, so why does it persist. i thought a moment about what the worst thing it could be, and it turns out, i really should not have done that, it didn't help at all. i actually had a very good answer to that question, and it became even worse. this is not a good head space to be in. it really feels bad.