trikafta log 2020.02.16.1531

so i had a bad morning. i had terrible trouble falling asleep last night, so i got little sleep. i've asked a few people if they remember the moment when they go to sleep, the transition from being conscious to unconscious, and people have said no. last night there were a few times i felt myself falling asleep and it seems like it made my body panic and wake up again. it felt like my body was becoming warm and my musculature rippled back, and something gripped my brain from behind. it didn't feel good, and it caused my mind to retaliate from the feeling, even though i wasn't moving the entire time. this happens about four or five times before i could fall asleep in the usual way in which i don't remember. i got up at 6, took my morning trikafta and ten units basaglar insulin. when i got to church, i was told that my playing was sub-par, and to stay on ukulele which is quieter. i was told this well after we had practiced all of our songs and ten minutes before service started. i felt massively demoralized by the way these comments were made, and i wasn't able to play through the first song, so i left immediately after in tears. i got home and took a nap and i still feel miserable about the affair. at no point to i claim to be a perfect musician, but i've never been disrespected like that.