trikafta log 2019.12.18.1357

148.4 lbs / blood glucose levels 161

i had a difficult night. once again i was up until 4.14 despite my efforts to sleep before then. i wasn't feeling too well and i felt compelled to write how i was feeling. this is what i put down with some difficulty

4:14 AM 12/18/2019 i'm really seriously starting to wonder what's wrong with me. having cf means i'm constantly in a self evaluation of sorts, making sure i'm not about to crash. i have to be consious of blood glucose levels, keeping them in a sort of 'goldilocks' area, as well as calorie intake, as well as breathing, and getting enough sleep on top of that, as well as making it to appointments on time. i sit here awake because i was doing treatments just a little bit ago. i sit up because ifelt my glucose levels fall. i can't type properly right now. my arms feel ethereal. something is wrong with me. i don't exist properly. on a fundamental level, i don't exist in the proper fashion. i've started trying meletonin to get better sleep. i sleep for over 13 hours when done improperly. i feel paranoied right now. i hate windows at night. this isn't working for some reason. something feels wrong with me. i don't have proper relations with people. my blood sugar was low. i had half a bottl3e of cider and two bowls of sugary cereal. i don't feel well. cereal still in my teeth, i need to get to sleep. i still can't type.

as stated that was likely a result of anxiety brought on by low blood sugar, but it seems to encapsulate how i think when i'm anxious. as it is, right now, i'll take two orange trikafta pills, an azythromiacin, ten units of basaglar insulin, an albuteral, salmeterol, therapy vest, and pulmazyme.