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Put on a Happy Face? | Joker Forced Positivity EXPLAINED
Should you force positivity?
Your body sends signals to your mind and so studies show you can trick your mind into feeling better by sitting upright, making eye contact, and smiling.
It’s also helpful to surround ourselves with smiles and laughter because our mirror neurons copy the behavior we see in others. This is why if we see someone smile we’ll instinctively smile back without consciously thinking about it.
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Psychiatrist Dr. Eva Ritzo recommends smiling at ourselves in the mirror to feel happier.
“A team of psychologists combined data from 138 studies testing more than 11,000 participants and found that facial expressions have a small impact on our feelings.” — University of Tennessee study
And it isn’t just scientists who see the benefits of forced happiness. Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricard is colloquially referred to as the “happiest man in the world” because brain-scans showed…
“Excessive activity in his brain’s left prefrontal cortex compared to its right counterpart, allowing him an abnormally large capacity for happiness and a reduced propensity towards negativity.” — Business Insider
So what’s the happiest man’s happiness tip?
Spend 10–15 minutes thinking happy thoughts per day.
“'All I have are negative thoughts.” — Joker
Matthieu Ricard’s tip is based on his happiness philosophy where he sees happiness as a muscle.
He believes you can build your happiness muscle by constantly exercising it just as you would your leg muscles for a marathon. And conversely, if you don’t exercise your happiness muscle then it’ll atrophy and therefore be harder and harder for you to be happy in even the best of conditions with the strongest of drugs.
So from these two examples we can conclude…
You can force happiness in the short-term. You can build your happiness muscle for the long-term. BUT… BUT… BUT…
Happiness should NOT be your goal.
Studies show people who make happiness their goal report higher levels of disappointment and depression.
Harvard Medical School psychologist Susan Davide says you should pursue things that have an intrinsic value to you and then happiness will be a natural byproduct of that pursuit.
“I just don’t want to feel so bad anymore.” — Joker
But even if you spend your days smiling, meditating, and pursuing personal goals you can still feel bad.
This is because your emotions reveal what you value.
If you value fame, but everyone is ignoring you then it’s rational for you to feel mad.
If you value power, but you have little control over your own life then it’s rational for you to feel sad.
If you try to push away those emotions, according to the research, they’ll eventually come back magnified.
For example, in one study, participants tried to quit smoking by not thinking about cigarettes, but then they dreamt about smoking. In psychology, this is referred to as “leakage.”
There are 3 strategies you can use to respond to feeling bad (stress, sadness, anger, disappointment, jealousy)…
Pause. Buddhist Matthieu and Dr. Davide suggest creating mental space between yourself and your emotions. Don’t be a slave to your emotions. Pay close yet detached attention to your emotions. With minor things, it can be better to just pause, reflect on your emotion, think “hmmm that’s interesting,” and move on. Don’t make it a habit of dwelling too much on negative events, but if it’s a recurring problem then consider the next two strategies…
Act. If you feel bad because you’re not living up to one of your values or because someone is continuously attacking them then you might want to take action, but I don’t recommend doing what the Joker did.
Alter. If you’re unfunny it’s STILL possible you can become a comedian, but you’re probably better off focusing your time and energy elsewhere. To move on requires you to reframe and rethink your values. There’s more than one way to “spread joy and laughter.”
But the worst thing you could do is pretend like everything is fine day-after-day when deep down you feel miserable.
Eventually, you’ll crack.
And it won’t be a joke.
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