Highlander - Episode 0123

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Highlander: There Can Be Only One!

We got tired of having randos in our studio, so this week, it’s just your beloved Darth and Jason at the helm of this 80s classic that also poses as a complete train wreck. It’s not often that a movie offers up wrestler strip-teases AND immortal blue jean sex, but Jason selected a film that provides them both. Get excited.

We can’t decide if Clancy Brown or Tim Curry chews more scenery when they go off the improvising rails. To be fair, Clancy Brown may take home the belt when it comes to nearly murdering fellow actors, but this makes sense if you caught his performance on Rick and Morty.

Christopher Lambert was also in this movie at some point, but the real star of the film was his utterly indecipherable accent; in fact, it might be even more nonsensical than the background of his “Egyptian” mentor.

Apparently, we can blame Argentina (goodbye to yet another country) and Highlander fans themselves for the poor quality of Highlander sequels. Ultimately, Jason applies the same sense of denial to the sequels that Darth uses for Spider-Man 3. Regardless, this franchise may stand alone as the only one to ever be improved by a subsequent television series.

None of this really matters in a film where logic slices through the plot like car battery sparks through a longsword. Honestly, in a movie where quasi-Scottish Bruce Wayne cannot achieve mortal omnipotence until all the immortals are dead, your suspension of disbelief is key.

We’d be remiss, however, if we didn’t mention the most timeless aspects of this beloved 80s film. Queen’s amazing music, Peter Diamond’s legendary stunt training, and Sean Connery’s mere 7-day presence help to solidify Highlander as an immortal and treasured classic.

Our last piece of advice is this. Ladies, don’t make your man light an annual candle. White Fang his ass and die like a low-maintenance bawse.