I Read an Insufferable 6,400-Word Profile Piece on Meghan Markle

Yes, I really read aloud the entire 6,400-word article. As we meet at the crossroads of wry sarcasm and insufferable celebrity worship cringe, we will ask: on which of these two paths is this piece? What were these people paid $125M for? And why do they want to believe they're suffering so badly?

I was left basically speechless, so this is a bit of a one-off with no commentary.

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The Original Article
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Meghan of Montecito by Allison P. Davis, published in The Cut on August 29, 2022
https://www.thecut.com/article/meghan-markle-profile-interview.html

To Allison P. Davis: please take no offense at this video/attempt at humor; I enjoyed reading your article and found it to be an interesting window into Meghan Markle :)

To my three viewers: please appreciate the writer and don't be hating.

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Best bits
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02:23 Climate-controlled and marshmallowy
02:47 Meghan Markle's secret
06:35 The tiny Bachelor producer
07:04 Content, babyyy
09:48 Bombshells, and racism against babies
11:04 Blowouts and orgies
12:09 A tony typo
12:24 Millionaires feel poor
13:07 Romantic palm trees
13:40 Healing for $14.65M
14:25 Advice to little girls
15:43 Harry earns himself so many points
16:31 World's weirdest office
17:57 What $125M in contracts gets you
18:33 WTF were they paid for?
20:33 Creepy
21:22 Did you learn this? I didn't
24:49 The hard life of a millionaire
27:26 Endless humblebrags
28:33 This paragraph followed by this photo
29:35 "Uncomfortable"
30:14 More pretending to be poor
30:21 Meghan = Mandela
31:10 The writer predicts this video
33:10 The most mundane paragraph of all time
33:51 Generosity, caught conveniently by a reporter
35:10 The beatboxing bit from the intro
35:41 Still healing
35:52 "Do you like that?"
36:24 The hilarious conclusion