Becoming Socially Fluent

Most people won't need this video. Most people will think this video is 'stupid'.

But this video is for the many people out there that feel 'stupid' in conversation and how they can do better.

I've become quite skilled at conversation...with the prickly, the famous, the awkward and the weird.

Like many with abusive childhoods, I developed a hyperawareness of anger related triggers and the spun into an ability to lubricate social situations.

I've noticed in social interactions lately that many don't even know how to converse. They fall prey to incomplete advice like 'always talk about the other person' or 'make others feel important'.

This leads to tragic conversations where people try so hard but crash and burn in a sea of awkwardness.

Instead, they should try this:

1. Be interested; and
2. be interesting.

Good conversation is not about 'taking turns', 'never interrupting', or 'being funny'. Narrow tricks and techniques like that eventually fail. But if your general disposition is to be 'interested' in the other person you will ask the right questions at the right time.

Secondly, be interesting! Most people are not interesting because they don't read anything, watch anything, go anywhere or think about anything deeper than what is fed to them in mass media.

Learn something. Explore something. Read something. You become interesting when you are fascinated with something yourself.

Finally, practise! I am convinced anyone trying this 2 point method just a handful of times will become more socially fluent than the majority of people I interact with.

Be interested and be interesting...and you will always be the type of company people want to keep.