INTROSPECTION - no need to waste time fantasizing on how one's spouse should look or behave like

Your spouse is not a programmable AI. So it's irrelevant to think they should be one way or another. If one is conscious, therefore open to their emotional readings, they will know if they love someone more than anyone else. They will feel the attraction. As for ignorant people, they are disconnected from emotions by default, so to them, love will never be perceivable, or it will always be something mundane that will distract them well enough.