My dad is kicking me out. I'm leaving a gift.

My dad is kicking me out. I'm leaving a gift.

His girlfriend is moving in in December from overseas and because my father is a liar, she falsely believes that my room was used by his ex and that she had since moved out (the truth is that they were sharing his bed until last week while I lived in the other room.) And so, to keep up the ruse, he told me yesterday that I had two weeks to clear out my room, take my belongings and leave no trace of my existence behind in the apartment.

His girlfriend is apparently a clean freak and my dad is desperate to make a good impression. Hence me getting kicked out. So right before I leave there's going to be an "accidental" spill of tuna juice on the living room rug and there will be honey and sugar in inconspicuous corners.... I think the ants will love it. Hopefully the tuna juice will go bad and make the whole place slowly stink over the course of several weeks for no reason and hopefully my dad will be embarrassed and miserable.

Edit: I am a broke college student. I pay for my studies myself. My dad was a cheating deadbeat growing up. We had a deal that I could move in with him and stay until I graduate. No, I can't tell his girlfriend without putting my physical safety on the line, even secret attempts. My father is purging the apartment and my room when I'm gone so anything for her to "find" wouldn't work nor would something that stinks immediately. Yes, my dad's a dick, it's a long established fact.

Edit 2: some of you guys don't seem to remember what subreddit we're on? Yes I'm being petty, that's sort of *the point*.

#reddit #pettyrevenge #tts