I am Unsatisfied with My Life and Here's Why

This is a poem about my depression.
Rainy day all around…
Nothing worse than the sound
Of notification after notification
Of post after post
Of fixation leading to addiction

I find myself each day finding it hard to get play
Form 0s to 10s
I am an incel waiting in the lions den of female relationships

With each teardropI lose a sense of reality
With each like and each share I lose an ounce of identity

Who ever said “live your life to the fullest”
Who ever said “live like there is no tomorrow”
How can you be so naive
Don’t you see my sorrow living by your words
Look within my eyes there is darkness and anger
Look within my eyes there is pain
Look
I want your attention don't you see

I want you to admire me

With each photo that I see
With each message and retweet of me
I feel empty

I am left drained of all my energy
I am left to ahamed of all my masculinity
I am left lost, alone, and confused
like a drone, I am alone, with someone unknown controlling me.

IM UNSATISFIED

There must be more to this treacherous life
There must be someone who can heal my strife
There must be a path to salvation
From this hellish fire.
There must Be.

Look at me
I want your attention don't you see
Is it not clear my life is not fair
Therefore I deserve more like shares and retweets
Therefore I deserve all this vaniscious world can offer me?
Wrong, I deserve nothing.
I am nothing.

This is the sadness I feel each day
And I've been seeking a way to express my darkness
I found it and now I can never let go

I’m unsatisfied but at least you know.

Rainy day all around…
Nothing worse than the sound
Of notification after notification
Of post after post
Of fixation leading to addiction

My heart still pounds Empty and Unsatisfied.

#poem #spokenword #selfimprovement