With constant vigilance,

Do I need to talk to my cat about gun safety?
The first question many of you will be asking is, “Do I really need to teach my cat about gun safety?” The answer is an unequivocal “Yes!!!” The Constitution of the United States of America guarantees us the right to own and operate firearms, and that is a right we mustexercise in order to keep our country healthy, lest our democracy atrophy. It is the duty of all American citizens—as well as their cats—to be able to use and maintain a firearm. Citizens who cannot handle a gun safely are as irresponsible and useless as citizens who do not own a gun at all. Americans and their homes are under attack. It is impurrative that, in order to ensure the future security of our country, every man, woman, child, and cat be able to defend our nation against the enemies of democracy.
Do I need to talk to my cat about evolution?