BAKING a Simple TYRANNY Cake (With Boris Johnson)

Boris shows us how to make a simple Tyranny cakes, using only five essential ingredients.

Transcript:

Hello, welcome to you, we are in the kitchen today, cooking up a simple Tyranny Cake. You're going to need 225g of fear. (Adds butter) All though stone cold terror is tasty, the fear should actually be room temperature.

You need to whip the fear up evenly and consistently through the whole society. When the fear starts turning the faces white with fright, it’s time to add 225g of sweet propaganda (Adds sugar); crisp, precise, addictive.

Mix that propaganda deep into the fear, hear in crunch and grind like stones digesting seeds in the belly of a parakeet. Right, that’s it.

When the fear and propaganda create a synergy of delicious delusion, it’s time to beat the structure out of it with four lockdowns (Eggs). Always add one lockdown at a time.

See, look at the previous structure turn to putty as the lockdowns destroy any semblance of what cohesion there might have previously been. Right good. Now we’ve a heavily beaten, frightened and easily comforted society - we now need to add a new structure.

225g of coercion, I’ve gone for one here with added threat and corruption, you can just get the regular stuff if you choose, although I recommend going all out.

Slowly whisk that in so nobody notices it’s happening - there you go, keep turning it over gently, see it starting to take a new shape, this is where we a few gestapo agents (adds raisins) to make sure that the new structure is being absorbed properly.

When yours is done it’ll look like this. Problem is, when you give in to eating it, you’ll be eating it literally night and day - it really does take over your life.