Ask a Grown Woman: Paula Pell

“You probably are a gay person”—and other diagnoses from the self-professed Worst Kisser on the East Coast.

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Paula Pell has been writing for Saturday Night Live for the past 17 years. This year she’s working on two movie scripts—one of them’s with Judd Apatow. She has a hilarious Twitter, a pit bull named Jezebel, and a horse named Verbena. Basically she wins at life; we’re honored that she shared her secrets with us and you here.