Talk 13: Marriage: Agony or Blessedness?

Orthodox Talks by Priestmonk Kosmas, Sydney, Australia

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Marriage is extremely difficult. Few people in our time prepare themselves adequately for the challenges of marriage – and the result is frequently disastrous. A successful marriage requires not only spiritual preparation (as many in the Church mistakenly believe) but also practical life skills. These skills include the ability to perform domestic duties, to deal with financial responsibilities, to form lasting and healthy relationships, to communicate effectively, and to be good parents.

In this talk, Father Kosmas explains that both spirituality and practical life skills need to be developed over the years while one is still single, not right before marriage or even after marriage. While many mistakenly consider the single life a time for fun and freedom, viewing married life as restrictive and oppressive, Father Kosmas emphasises that the single life is actually a valuable opportunity to develop the skills and the maturity necessary for a joyful marriage.

The following questions are also discussed: is it sexist to say that the man is the head of the woman? Should others be involved in choosing a spouse? What is meant by ‘pagan Christians’? Why are many children becoming shipwrecked in life? Does God want there to be inequality in the world? Why is it sometimes better to stay single than to marry? What did Saint John Chrysostom mean by saying that parents can become murderers of their children’s souls?

Other points covered in this talk include: looking for love through drugs; seeking signs from heaven; worldly beauty versus spiritual beauty; premarital emotional and mental problems; irresponsible single life; obsession with finding a spouse; dating and courtship; how seeing others as sex objects can affect one’s future marriage; sexual intimacy before marriage; cold feet before the wedding; sexual passions in single and married life; how music, television and the internet affect one’s spiritual life; and women, family and work.