2 years ago

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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about crafting personal rules for your life that empower you and avoiding the ones that disempower.

IN THIS PODCAST YOU'LL FIND:

- Personal Rules are rules that we create ourselves and inform how we believe reality should work.
- Personal Rules are not real rules unless you discover that it does make you feel bad. You will identify whether it’s a personal rule based on its effect.
- There are also personal rules that we are conscious of. You may not be aware of your personal rules until the emotion has brought it up to you.
- All upsets are rules upsets. If we are feeling bad, it’s not because someone made us feel bad but because our personal rules are offended. If we’re aware of the rules inside us, we have the power and capability to change them.
- A rule is what has to happen in order for us to feel good.
- Rules are shortcuts for our brains to give a sense of certainty about consequences for actions to make lightning quick decisions. In order make quick decisions that will lead us to our desirable consequences, we start to create rules that will get us to that feeling.
- When a rule comes in to your life, it’s a way for your make a decision which makes things faster so you can get through life.
- We have more rules that can easily be offended than rules than are open frame. Most of us have a lot of rules that we don’t want. Be aware of your rules. Ask yourself whether it is a bad or an empowering rule.
- Knowing what your rules are and crafting them in a way that makes you feel good, increases our happiness.
- Be clear in communicating what your rules are.

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Three different components to a disempowering rule:

1) A disempowering rule is impossible to meet and it’s going to make you feel bad all the time.
2) What you can’t control determines whether the rule has been met – Outside circumstance have to fall into place in order your personal rule to be met. You don’t have control whether or not the rule happens.
3) It gives only a few ways to feel good and lots of ways to feel bad. Things have to happen in an exact way in order for a rule to be honored.

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Hierarchy of rules:

1) Threshold Rules: Rules that we will never break and define us.
2) Personal Standards: Rules that we don’t like to break.

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- If your disempowering rules are populating your threshold rules, you feel unhappy because you are unable to meet to meet them.
- Being right may seem like what makes us really happy but real happiness comes from being willing to re-evaluate.
- Feel free to put much time and effort when designing your rules.
- The most empowering rule is to enjoy yourself no matter what happens.
- The person who is adaptable and flexible tend to gain the outcome they desire because they aren’t attached to specifics.
- Let us know what some of your personal rules are and what it takes to have empowering happiness producing rules. Please feel free to leave your comments below.

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