5 Love Languages | PersonalityHacker.com

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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about Gary Chapman and his book The 5 Love Languages.

Gary Chapman outlines love in 5 different ways. These love languages are very powerful and we all have different ways of expressing our love to our mate.

We’re often unaware that we speak in different love languages. When this happens, misunderstanding occurs because you’re going to think that the person is denying or withholding love from you.

The 5 Different Love Languages

Words of Affirmation. Expressing love through affirming words like how proud you are of your partner or maybe a nickname that only the two of you use dearly. It could also be the way you speak highly of them in public.

Quality Time. Spending a lot of quality time. There are people who just want being present by the quality of time they spend with their mate.

Gift Giving. Expresses love by finding that perfect object that will make the person happy or to receive a gift.

Acts of Service. Doing the dishes, getting the oil changed in the car. Working hard to provide for the family.

Physical Touch. Through touching and physicality. Examples include but not limited to snogging, holding hands in public, kissing in public and giving a massage. This is more than just sex. Sex is a fundamental need and is part of Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs.

When couples have different ways of expressing their love (example – you’re a quality time person and your mate is an “acts of service” person), misunderstanding occurs and sometimes, causing one or both partners to feel “not loved”.

It’s a matter of finding out what’s your love language and how are you misinterpreting selfishness.

So how are you going to find out your partner’s primary love language? Test it, try giving them gifts for example and check if it creates a big impact to them.

Oftentimes, the language you use to give love is not necessarily the language you get from the other person.

The way that we receive love and the way that we show love might be different. Knowing not just what you and your mate are but what your receiving and giving language is, can be very powerful.

If somebody is expressing love in a way that’s unfamiliar to us, keep in mind that it’s an attempt for them to show love intimacy.

The more we can see positive intent from our mate, the more we understand that they want to feel intimacy, being able to understand the love language model helps maintain the intimacy and maintain a healthy relationship.

Exercises we recommend in this podcast:

Write down the 5 love languages and rate yourself and your mate from 1-5 (1 being the highest). Invite your mate to have their own list and talk deeply about it.

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