Online dating

Hey, how's it going? I'm here to talk to you about the joys of online dating.

So, I decided to give it a shot - figured I'd give it a chance, you know? And let me tell you, it's been a wild ride.

First off, the bios. Oh man, the bios. You've got your "I'm just here for a good time, not a long time" types, your "I love long walks on the beach and craft beer" folks, and my personal favorite, the "I'm just looking for someone to share my love of Netflix and chicken nuggets" crew.

And then there's the pictures. You've got your gym selfies, your pictures with tigers (which, by the way, is not cute, it's just weird), and the classic "I'm holding up a fish I caught" photo. And don't even get me started on the group pictures - how am I supposed to know which one you are?

But the worst part? The conversations. You spend hours crafting the perfect message, only to get a one-word response or, even worse, no response at all. It's like, seriously, how hard is it to type "thanks, but no thanks"?

But despite all the craziness, I have to say, online dating has its moments. Like that one time I met a guy who turned out to be a professional mermaid performer. Yeah, that was a fun night.

Once, I was on this dating app, swiping left and right, when I come across this guy's profile. And let me tell you, he's hot. Like, really hot. I'm talking six-pack abs, chiseled jawline, the whole nine yards.

So I swipe right, of course, and a few minutes later, we match. And I'm thinking to myself, "Finally, my luck is turning around. This is it, the one."

But then I read his bio, and it says, "Just here to collect pictures of my abs. Swipe right if you want to see more."

I mean, seriously? What kind of ego do you have to have to put that in your bio? And to think, I was actually considering messaging him.

But alas, I learned my lesson. No more swiping right on hot guys with questionable bios. I'll stick to the guys with pictures of their pets or their mom's lasagna. At least then I know I'm getting a decent human being.

Overall, I think I'm going to stick to meeting people the old-fashioned way - at the bar, surrounded by drunk people and loud music. At least then I know what I'm getting myself into.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings. If you've got any online dating horror stories of your own, I'd love to hear them. Cheers!