Talk 70: On the Upbringing of Children According to Saints Paisios and Porphyrios - Part 1

Orthodox Talks by Priestmonk Kosmas, Sydney, Australia
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For centuries the upbringing of children has been a topic of great concern for parents—a concern that is on the rise due to the negative influences of society and a minimal understanding by parents today of this most important task. Instead of turning to the Church for guidance, all too often Orthodox Christians look to psychologists, teachers, doctors, and the media. How are we to overcome this lack of understanding?

In this talk Father Kosmas uses the teachings of the contemporary elders Saints Paisios and Porphyrios to help parents with the challenges of raising children. These saints emphasize how an improper upbringing results in serious, long-term psychological problems and they give valuable advice on how to raise children that are psychologically and spiritually healthy.

The following questions are also discussed: who is more responsible for raising children—the father or the mother? What does Saint Paisios say about breastfeeding? Does the spiritual life of the parents affect the unborn child? What effect do harsh discipline and excessive reprimands have on children? Who is to blame when a child is disobedient and badly behaved? Why do many children develop a long-term aversion towards their parents? Why does Saint Porphyrios blame Christian parents for their adult children’s problems? Why did a married man become very sick each time he had contact with his parents?

Other points covered in this talk include: Saint Paisios’ view on working mothers; how parents must give their children as much time as possible; Saint Porphyrios’ explanation of how a child’s psychological state affects his relationships with others in adulthood; an explanation of why children and teenagers prefer to spend time in their rooms alone; how parents tend to blame others for their children’s behavioral and mental problems; why many adults avoid their parents, sometimes even secretly wishing their death; and Saint Porphyrios’ fearful explanation of why the souls of many children and adults are in constant danger of collapsing.