Talk 77: How Can Clergy & Monasteries Help Parents Who Have Problems with Young & Adult Children?

Orthodox Talks by Priestmonk Kosmas, Sydney, Australia
www.OrthodoxTalks.com

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This talk is a continuation of Talk 76: “Speak Less to Your Children, and More to God About Your Children!” Many Orthodox parents have a tendency not to ask for help when experiencing problems with their young and adult children. This may be either out of pride or because they simply do not realize that such help is available within the Church.

In this talk, Father Kosmas uses the teachings of various saints and elders to outline three ways in which parents can receive help with their children. The first is for parents to pray for their children. The second is for parents to ask clergy and monastics for prayers and advice. The third way is for parents to submit their children’s names for commemoration at 40 consecutive Divine Liturgies – usually at monasteries that serve Divine Liturgy every day.

The following questions are also discussed: how should parents react upon realizing their mistakes with their children? Why do many religious parents experience failure with their children? Why do many saints and elders emphasise the importance of a mother’s prayers? Why is it important for parents to keep in mind their children’s salvation when dealing with their problems? Should parents pray for God to send suffering to their rebellious children? Why do some struggling parents progress spiritually while others deteriorate? What can parents do when their children leave home prematurely?

Other points covered in this talk include: how God will judge today’s children leniently because of their difficult circumstances; Saint Ambrose of Optina’s advice to a mother whose son had become rebellious and an unbeliever; why only some monastics can give advice to parents; how Saint Paisios warned parents against being overanxious about their children; how parents should not coerce their children to do good; the story of a young man who complained to a priest that he wanted to fall with a woman but continually failed; and how Saint Porphyrios helped a mother whose son was staying out all night with bad company.