Mourning Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse

When you break up with the narcissist, you literally fall apart. To end your grieving is to acknowledge and accept the loss of an object - but that object is YOU. You cannot get over your bereavement because you are mourning yourself.

At first, during the lovebombing and grooming phase, the narcissist offers you unconditional love, as a mother would. Then he idealizes you and causes you to become infatuated with your own idealized image. He invites you into a simulation, a paracosm, a shared fantasy where you merge/fuse into a single selfobject. Then he withdraws all these. He cancels YOU.

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