Raccoon Nonsense: That Dawg Don't Hunt

200 Arlington Residents Gathered to Discuss Missing Middle, While One Homeless Former Biological Warfare Planner Questioned Scientists About a Hibernating Coon Dawg

[FOB FREEDOM, March 18, 2023] Any station? Any station? Do you read? Over.

Reporting live from the world’s newest banana republic, given the choice of being one of the most affluent in a suburban community and pontificating about a zoning issue to provide more access to low-income housing in a government board room on a Saturday morning, spend a few hours sharing your feelings of compassion, or being one of Arlington’s homeless, sending emails to notable virologists, microbiologists and epidemiologists, in addition to pandemic celebrity journalists regarding the newest claims resolving the global public health crisis that has been attributed, by the nation’s leading business publication, to the fatalities of over 15 million worldwide, what would you choose? Well, at least for some 200 residents in the community with the most government scientists, and the most educated, by credentials, municipality in the nation, ranked 14th for holders of graduate degrees, it was discussing the Missing Middle zoning plan regarding low-income housing options, but for one former biological warfare planner, and litigation hobbyist known for his passionate nature, even by the President, Major Mike Webb decided to forgo the local controversy flavor of the day, and with seven cases docketed for certiorari, just kept plugging on, drafting appellate briefs, and penning emails to persons like Bruce Aylward, Kristian Andersen, Michael Worobey, James E. Pekar and several journalists about an apparently new discovery: a raccoon dog, none of which have been found infected, now being blamed for the global public health crisis that has claimed over a million American lives.

“Yeah. Small potatoes, I know. A little pandemic that closed churches, businesses and schools, killed grandmas, grandpas, and even 27,000 kids worldwide. But, when you are unemployed, homeless, a major depressive, ostracized and still single, perhaps your priorities are a little bit different. BMWs Ain’t Out Yet and Montblanc pens may do it for some pastors, and men of God, but I stick to the simple things in life—when not enjoying porn, of course. But ain’t it something how like all of a sudden these amazing scientists who could pump out safe and effective vaccines in record time are now, three years later saying, ‘Oops! I forgot about the raccoon dogs we tried to pin the first bat coronavirus outbreak on—the one recombinant coronavirus patent holder Ralph Baric had predicted after finishing up work with Tony Fauci on AIDS. Sounds pretty thin to me, and I just spent most of my life investigating and tracking terrorists, drug dealers, spies, and even honor code violators. Used to knock out line of duty investigative reports, performed vulnerability assessments and planned red teams against mission impossible high value targets. Hell, I was crashing into the Twin Towers with FS98, and who’d have thunk it, right? C’est la vie. I prefer the boring life,” remarked former army top spy.

Note: grandiosity is a classic sign of bipolar disorder, and we don't want to hurt his feelings lest he go to “that place”, so familiar to Arlington Public School Board Member, Latina Cristina Torres-Diaz.

Chim-chimera. Chim-chimera. Chim-chim-cherry. A pandemic agent as lucky can be. Chim-chimera. Chim-chimera. Chim-chim--achoo. The luck'll rub off when I bump fists with you. Or blow me a kiss, and catch COVID-2.

Your elected representative is called your elected representative for a reason; and Martin Luther King and Jesus never got elected.

And let’s get ready to RUMBLE! https://rumble.com/vp2uk1-attorneys-need-not-apply-you-have-the-right-to-remain-silent.html.

For more on this topic, please call Major Mike Webb for Virginia at (802) HOT-RLTW, or email at [email protected].