Holding Two Conflicting Beliefs!

What Is Cognitive Dissonance? (https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-cognitive-dissonance-2795012)

Cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes. People tend to seek consistency in their attitudes and perceptions, so this conflict causes unpleasant feelings of unease or discomfort.

The inconsistency between what people believe and how they behave motivates them to engage in actions that will help minimize feelings of discomfort.
People attempt to relieve this tension in different ways,
such as by rejecting, explaining away, or avoiding new information.

Signs of Cognitive Dissonance
Everyone experiences cognitive dissonance to some degree but that doesn't mean that it is always easy to recognize. Some signs that what you are feeling might be related to dissonance include:

(1) Feeling uncomfortable before doing something or making a decision
(2) Trying to justify or rationalize a decision you've made or action you have taken
(3) Feeling embarrassed or ashamed about something you've done and trying to hide your actions from other people
(4) Experiencing guilt or regret about something you've done in the past
(5) Doing things because of social pressure or a fear of missing out (FOMO),
even if it wasn't something you wanted to do.