Bryan Finds Jesus

Alexandria Prosecutor Finds Jesus?

[FOB FREEDOM, June 18, 2023] Any station? Any station? Do you read? Over.

Reporting live from the world’s newest banana republic, . . .

While even one Black Protestant church has practically conceded that Father’s Day is meaningless with less than 25% of Black families having a momma and a papa, and had decided to put up Juneteenth signs all over the place in celebration of their new imaginary holiday, at least one prosecutor in Northern Virginia is a steady praying that he will never have to go to court to present his arguments on dismissal of a case, brought in mandamus, to compel the convening of a grand jury investigation into the infections of a pastor, his wife and a well-known family who had attended a large evangelical Christian, Southern Baptist church, where now retired Alexandria Sheriff Dana Lawhorne had found Jesus, in October 2021, just before the November elections when it appeared that Mark Herring, the candidate who he had endorsed, might not prevail.

“It is certainly intriguing that the founder of some mental health group is now running around Alexandria saying ‘I believe the preacher’, but recall Bryan is a graduate of 90% selective VCU, and probably believed that against this virus that even the Intelligence Community is having a helluva time just trying to determine its origins, like something alien, a simple one-ply cotton mask and social distancing was what he was supposed to do to prevent being infected by the superman virus, which even Fauci says has fooled ‘us’ before. Yo, Bryan, I don’t wanna keep you away from your prayers and meditations, but have one of those fine attorneys in your office cover for you for a minute, bring your thing Mary road to Bethlehem to court, dismiss my case and get it done, ya dang Jesus freak,” laughed Major Mike Webb.

Note: grandiosity is a classic sign of bipolar disorder, and we don't want to hurt his feelings lest he go to “that place”, so familiar to Arlington Public School Board Member, Latina Cristina Torres-Diaz.

Chim-chimera. Chim-chimera. Chim-chim-cherry. A pandemic agent as lucky can be. Chim-chimera. Chim-chimera. Chim-chim--achoo. The luck'll rub off when I bump fists with you. Or blow me a kiss, and catch COVID-2.

Your elected representative is called your elected representative for a reason; and Martin Luther King and Jesus never got elected.

And let’s get ready to RUMBLE! https://rumble.com/vp2uk1-attorneys-need-not-apply-you-have-the-right-to-remain-silent.html.