Three Steps to Letting Go

What is the difference between ignoring an issue and letting it go? I once spoke to a woman who complained that her boyfriend often made demeaning remarks that she thought were intended to keep her in her place. “How do you handle that?” I asked. She rolled her eyes, obviously annoyed. “O, I just ignore him.” She may have given him the impression that she was ignoring him, but she obviously continued to carry the resentment.

Letting go is releasing the negative energy we hold concerning a person or a situation. This usually requires a very deliberate and conscious effort to actually experience the freedom of release. If the natural flow of the creative life force is from the inside out, then it is important for us to release the negative energy of fear or resentment we may harbor. Ignoring it is not really an option because, as the woman demonstrated, we carry it with us wherever we go.

Let’s look at three steps we can take to assure that we are letting go rather than just ignoring. First, we treat the issue as mental and emotional energy. We do this because, based on our inside/out model, we accept that we are the ones who decide how we use our energy. The outside/in approach says the world makes this choice for us. If I say someone else’s action makes me resentful, then I am giving them the power (outside/in) to control my energy. This is how most of us deal with the world, so it is important that we make a conscious effort to separate the outer appearance from our internal reaction.

The second step is to visualize this energy dissolving. I’m not trying to change a person or a condition, I am allowing my thought and emotion about the person or condition to dissolve. Think of the fog on your bathroom mirror after a shower. Point a hairdryer at it and watch it disappear. Hold a similar visualization.

When you feel some relief, some genuine detachment from the event, go about your business as if the situation is resolved in your favor. This, of course, is the fulfillment of Jesus’ advice to believe you have received what you ask for in prayer. Remember, do not ignore the appearance. Let it go. The power to do so is with us always.