Why You Should Stay The Hell Away From The Calgary Stampede

I've lived in Calgary for 3 years now and I am the first one to tell you that I'm disappointed in myself that I didn't get to Calgary Stampede before this year. I now regret going. This is a prime example of mundane and asinine garbage designed specifically and only to separate you from your hard earned money.

You line up to spend $50 to get in the park, then you line up to get in the park and then you line up to walk through a metal detector. Then you line up to buy crappy food at five times the price it's actually worth. Then you line up to buy tickets to get on rides. You spend an astronomical amount of money on those tickets just to line up for 2 hours to get on a ride that lasts 30 seconds.

If you want to see a concert or something that is actually interesting, you line up to buy tickets for that and then you line up to get in.

If you want to see the Chuck Wagon races that are apparently world famous, you line up to buy tickets and then you line up to get in and then you line up to get to your seat.

If you're not careful you will pay five separate admission tickets to do anything of interest in that place and the things of interest are not interesting at all.

Canadians don't seem to understand that the rest of the world does things properly, where cultural events are not just a cash grab but actually cultural events. The Calgary Stampede is about as cultural as you going to McDonald's and buying a burger and that is it.

If I came from the United States by airplane to see the Calgary Stampede and then spend the day doing it, I would be so enraged I would probably go on a 12-state shooting spree.

If you're looking for any particular type of honest statement from Canada's best podcaster, best looking man and most honest individual, then stay the fuck away from the Calgary Stampede and spend your money on something that actually has value and actually has a modicum of entertainment value on top of that.

If you want to know what is actually fun to do in Calgary I'm the guy to talk to! Stay away from the Calgary Stampede!
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