Poor Sinner

In this deeply personal and introspective video, I share the transformative journey of my life, marked by the weight of religious beliefs and the impact they had on my mental and physical well-being. Born and raised in New Jersey in 1981, my upbringing revolved around strict Catholicism, where self-punishment and guilt became synonymous with holiness. From a young age, I immersed myself in confessionals, seeking forgiveness for being the "terrible sinner" I believed I was.

Through this video, I recount the struggles I faced in trying to align a rigid, black-and-white worldview with the complexities of reality. Fueled by fear of eternal damnation, I suppressed my desires, practiced extreme humility, and sought to be meek, all in the hope of appeasing a higher power. I wore a scapula as a protective charm, lived in a self-imposed prison of never feeling "worthy," and considered myself superior to those who didn't conform to my religious beliefs. The internal conflict between serving God and building self-confidence took a toll on my mental health.

Despite considering myself open-minded, I didn't recognize the damaging effects of these beliefs until later in life. Religion had been ingrained in me from birth, reinforced by loved ones, making it difficult to question or challenge the status quo. The blind leading the blind, I found solace in acceptance within the religious community, clinging to promises of blessings in the afterlife. Therapy helped me understand that no one was to blame; everyone acted with the best intentions.

Being a devout Catholic was an understatement for me. I devoted myself to daily mass, frequent prayers, veneration of saints, and extensive religious practices. However, as my desire to share the "good news" of the Lord grew, I embarked on a quest to understand the Bible and explore other religions and philosophies. Leaving behind the idea of becoming a priest, I dove into the study of religion with fervor, eager to grasp the essence of life and its purpose.

In sharing my story, I hope to shed light on the constant fear and stress that dominated my existence. I realize that not everyone may relate to the religious aspect, but many people carry internal stress from traumatic experiences that manifest in physical ailments. I believe that thoughts and feelings about oneself profoundly influence life, and ignoring the connection between mental and physical well-being is a mistake. Quantum physics has highlighted the impact of energy fields emitted from the heart and the role of our thoughts in shaping reality.

I encourage viewers to reflect on their own lives, confront uneasy feelings, and address any traumas that may be affecting their physical health. The pages ahead offer practical advice and techniques to improve well-being, including lifestyle changes and mental healing. Healing occurs naturally when we adopt healthier habits and reconcile past traumas, leading to a renewed zest for life and self-discovery.

Join me on this journey of self-reflection, resilience, and healing. Discover the power within yourself to overcome religious trauma, embrace holistic well-being, and experience life in a whole new light. Get excited, as help is on the way, and remember that you are not alone. Together, we can embark on a path of transformation and find joy, confidence, and a renewed passion for life.