Choose Your Friends Wisely | Bob Proctor

Rollo May, the distinguished psychiatrist, wrote a wonderful book called Man's Search For Himself. In this book, he says, "The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice. It is conformity." There you have the trouble today. It's conformity. People acting like everyone else without knowing why, without knowing where they're going.

Most people have no idea where they're going. They really don't. And you don't have to be much of a genius to figure this out. Stand back and watch the way most people live, watch the way they operate, the way they talk, the way they walk, where they act, they way they dress. Everything about them is an indication that there's nothing but confusion in here. Karl Menninger pointed out that environment is more important than heredity. You got to really watch what you're doing, who you're mixing with.

I am very selective about the people I spend a lot of time with. I don't think I'm better than anybody. In fact, I know I'm no better than anybody. I know we are all the same. We are all just descendants from the same stock. I mean, we're really all the same. There's only one mind. But there's a lot of people that don't understand that they're the same as somebody that's doing very well, so they don't see themselves doing very well.

I don't want to spend a lot of time with anybody that's not goal-oriented. I don't want to spend a lot of time with anybody that doesn't know exactly where they're going to go. I don't want to spend time with anyone that wants to play it safe, because I might catch what they've got.

We're really extras in our own movie. We see the star, but we're not the star. You're the star of your movie. You are the Academy Award-winning star of your movie. What Shakespeare say? "All the life's a stage." It really is. Now some people are acting like the plays over. They're just going to sit there until the lights go right out.

You can't see what has to happen. You've got to trust. You've got to act like the person you're going to become. Now, you've also got to know that some of the people close to you are saying, "Who you trying to act as? Are you kidding yourself? Come on, quit acting phony. People are laughing at you. Why are you doing that?"

I experienced this. When my income took off, some people I thought were my friends quit talking to me. Of course, you're earning this money, what are you going to do with it? Well, I like spending it. My wife gets a bigger kick out of it than I do, but you buy a nice new car. They say, "Oh, your big shot now." Of course you probably want to live in a nice new home. "What was the matter with the old one? Not good enough for you."

You've got to be prepared for this. And you've got to develop mental strength because I'm going to tell you, at first, it hurts. It bothers you. They try and pull you back to where they are. Now, if you're a negative person, in other words, you're choosing negative ideas, you're worrying, fear and anxiety. You know the only thing you can attract? The people that are vibrating on that frequency. You're going to attract other negative people. Misery loves company. That's just isn't a cute saying. Birds of a feather flock together.

The heavy hitters, they're all attracted to each other. They go to the same clubs. They take the same kind of vacations. They drive the same kind of cars. They live in the same neighborhoods. Now, if you're not one, how do you become one? Mix with them. You choose your environment. That's exactly what I did.

27 years ago, I was sitting in a bar here in Toronto. That's where I spent most of my time and all my money that I could beg, borrow and steal. I very rarely earned very much in those days. One day I picked up a glass and I looked at it and I looked around and I thought they're all bums in here. They were. Then I thought, "Geez, I must be a bum too, because I'm always here. I'm one of them. They're one of me." You know what I said? I put the glass down. I said, "I'm never coming back as long as I live;" and I never have. I never have.

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