Trustworthy Helth $cience

So much HELTH, so much truthy, truthy McHelth. What could go wrong, gang? Money has never influenced the SETTLED HELTH TRUTH $cience. Eat your mysterious chemical orbs and shut your pie hole. The facts are settled and you need to eat your factory-manufactured helth chemical ovals and only listen to people who monetize your existence.

I'm here from [COMPANY WHO PROFITS FROM YOUR DEMISE] and I just want to help! An arbiter of truth is totally fine and it definitely won't be abused or harm anyone LOL I can't remember history or anything, I'm a smoothbrain powered by soy, tell me how to do HELTH please.