Premium Only Content

A stand-up made in chatgpt
A stand-up made in chatgpt
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the laughter factory! I hope you're all ready to have a good time tonight. If you're not, don't worry; we've got an unlimited supply of jokes and a two-drink minimum.
Let's dive right in, shall we? Technology, am I right? We've got smartphones that are smarter than us. I mean, my phone knows more about my life than my therapist does. Siri is like my personal life coach, and she's always there, ready to listen. But when I ask her existential questions, like "Siri, what's the meaning of life?" she just says, "I'm sorry, I can't answer that." Thanks, Siri, you're a real help.
And don't get me started on autocorrect. Autocorrect thinks it's smarter than us, but it's like a mischievous toddler. I once sent my boss a message saying, "I'll be there in a sex," instead of "I'll be there in a sec." Needless to say, I was late, and I didn't get a raise that year.
Speaking of technology, social media is a wild place, isn't it? We've become a society obsessed with sharing every moment. I mean, I get it; we want to show the world our best selves. But why do we call them "selfies" when it takes 50 tries to get one decent shot? It should be called "try-fies."
And filters? They're like real-life Photoshop. We're all walking around looking like a mix between a Disney character and an airbrushed magazine cover. I wish I could apply a filter to my real life. "Can I get the 'Soft Focus' filter for this meeting, please? Make me look 10% more attentive."
Now, let's talk about relationships. They say opposites attract, right? Well, I married my complete opposite. I'm a night owl, and he's an early bird. We're like two ships passing in the hallway at 2 AM and 6 AM, saying, "Goodnight!" and "Good morning!" It's like living with a roommate I never see.
But I love him, even though he insists on leaving the empty cereal box in the pantry. It's like he's testing my problem-solving skills. "Can she find the Cheerios or will she starve to death?" It's a daily scavenger hunt.
Let's shift gears to food. Eating out at a fancy restaurant is an experience, isn't it? They bring you a menu that's bigger than a Tolstoy novel, and you're expected to make a decision in 30 seconds. "I'll have the…uh...thing with the sauce and the stuff." And then they bring you a tiny masterpiece on a plate, and you're like, "Wow, it's like I'm eating a work of art." Meanwhile, I'm thinking, "Where's the nearest drive-thru? I need a real meal after this."
And speaking of drive-thrus, you ever notice how they always ask if you want to "upsize" your meal? "Do you want to upgrade to a large for only 50 cents?" Of course, I do! Who can resist the siren call of more fries for 50 cents? That's like asking, "Would you like to add happiness to your order?"
Now, as we wrap this up, I want to leave you with one thought: Life is full of unexpected moments, and laughter makes them all a little bit easier to handle. So, hit that like button if you've had a good time, share this video with your friends, and remember, when life gives you lemons, make a lemon meringue pie and enjoy the sweet moments. Thanks for joining me tonight, and I'll see you in the next one!
-
1:40:39
Glenn Greenwald
4 hours agoPam Bondi's Malicious Ineptitude on Full Display During Senate Hearing; Pro-Spying Senators Complain About Being Surveilled; What New Candace/Charlie Kirk Messages Reveal | SYSTEM UPDATE #528
88.3K69 -
LIVE
SpartakusLIVE
2 hours agoPREPARE to have your Frontal Lobe SEARED with MIND BENDING Content
213 watching -
LIVE
Nikko Ortiz
1 hour agoRealistic COP Simulator | Rumble LIVE
106 watching -
56:00
MattMorseTV
2 hours ago $6.94 earned🔴Trump set to invoke INSURRECTION ACT.🔴
13.9K47 -
2:02:24
Robert Gouveia
3 hours agoSenators RAGE at Jack's Spying! CIA Declassifies Biden Memo! New Census NOW!
16.2K14 -
LIVE
LFA TV
22 hours agoLIVE & BREAKING NEWS! | TUESDAY 10/7/25
685 watching -
34:06
BonginoReport
5 hours agoTiger Blood & Testosterone To Make Men Manly Again! - Nightly Scroll w/ Hayley Caronia (Ep.150)
34.3K14 -
39:30
Scammer Payback
6 hours agoBefore you answer another scam call... Watch This
7.87K6 -
DVR
Edge of Wonder
6 hours ago‘Paranormal Forces Attacked My Daughter’: Laura Van Tyne Interview
7.87K2 -
LIVE
NAG Entertainment
2 hours agoSAVAGE Drummer! LIVE Requests! FOLLOW Idiot! HELP Grow This Category!
26 watching