Narcissist’s Affair with Death Drive (Destrudo, Mortido)

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In my work, the death drive is not a primal drive. It is internalized and inculcated – not innate. It is the dead mother’s gift to her child.

Dead mother engenders death-seeking ego ideal (superego) to:

1. Emulate the mother’s deadness (fantasy or phanatsy defense);

2. Get rid of the bad object (fantasy or phantasy defense, Akhtar, 1991;Shengold, 1991);

3. Re-experience symbiosis (oceanic feeling, loss of boundaries) in self-extinguishing rather than in love (perceives love as dissolution, merger/fusion, disappearance=death) (Lacan, 1938; Lewin, 1950; Jacobson, 1964; Mahler, 1971; Kaplan, 1978; Chasseguet-Smirgel, 1984, 1991 “nostalgia for primary narcissism”);

4. Ensure immediate and automatic gratification of needs without agency, guilt, and shame/inferiority (Stone, 1971).

Lacan, 1946: death drive is the suicidal tendency of narcissism.

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