Why the BPD or Narcissist Can't Get To Accountability

People with Borderline Personality Disorder and/or Narcissistic Personality Disorder are not people with a fully developed "Self". They are arrested emotionally at a very young age. They did not progress through the healthy stages of required childhood development which means the difference essentially between having a cluster B personality disorder or not. They are so emotionally immature. They are so well defended they have no concept of anything but being meeting their own wants and needs. They cannot hold or tolerate at all the concept that they have done anything to you. They have cognitively distorted beliefs, to say the least, along with ingrained defenses that mean they have to (often subconsciously) project out their inner conflicts, shame, abandonment, lostness etc., on to others because they are just trying to survive. This does not mean they are not responsible and accountable for their words, actions and behavior, they are. They just don't have any emotional concept of that at all. They don’t care about you they just want to get what they want from you and must always be right.

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