i do standup cos i am making the most outta my experience

resting you on all these pair of socks
why do i get so mad about bumps in the road
why doesn't the state know that i am trying to shoot a video
yeah this didn't look right haha
it's okay i can just turn right back around n get off at this exit
i hate voicemails, so i won't do them
absolutely groundbreaking story right there
emotions are not allowed unless they are being used to push sumin politically correct
"be grateful that you woke up today"
if these positivity junkies questioned their existence they would off themselves
i don't mean to be a sad sally but positive people are so annoying
salmon cake, by the way
so i say n i keep on chewing w/ my mouth open hahaha
the internet proves thru the algorithm that the game is rigged
principled people don't get as much attention
"you're my only conservative friend"
they R is just as gullible as the L
that ain't your perspective if you have a meltdown trying to defend it