Angry Biden lashes out at reporters, special counsel after scathing classified documents report

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President Biden lashed out at reporters and special counsel Robert Hur Thursday night in response to a scathing report on Biden’s mishandling of classified documents that could prove devastating to his re-election prospects.

The report on Biden’s improper retention of sensitive material by Hur did not recommend criminal charges, but observed that the 81-year-old commander-in-chief was greatly diminished mentally, forgetting the dates of key events of his life during an interview with investigators.

“I’ve seen the headlines since the report was released about my willful retention of documents. These assertions are not only just misleading, they’re just plain wrong,” Biden said defiantly during a hastily scheduled appearance in the White House Diplomatic Reception Room.

“In addition, I know there’s some attention paid to the language in the report about my recollection of events. There’s even some reference that I don’t remember when my son died. How the hell dare he raise that? Frankly when I was asked the question, I thought to myself it wasn’t any of their damned business.”