I need your help editing! New opening chapter of my novel

This chapter introduces the main character early. Come by and help make it snappy !

In the editing stage of my novel, Death Penalty Desires: Passion, Lust, and Murder. I realized I needed a better opening chapter. Since that is the catchy intro, I need your help polishing the text to make it the very best it can be. Come on over and let's hang out. BTW - the first few chapters are available on my locals page.

Limited edition signed and numbered pre-orders are available here: https://stevegosney.com/collections/death-penalty-desires-collection

Here is a givesendgo for my next children's book, My Difficult Dog ... You can make it a reality by contributing. https://www.givesendgo.com/GBDS7

Brucie coloring books are now available at stevegosney.com!

eBook and Audiobook available on Amazon / audible now! https://www.amazon.com/Death-Penalty-Debates-Positive-Negative-ebook/dp/B0CSDCR37D/ref=sr_1_1?crid=CFJ5WS2EC4KR&keywords=Steven+Gosney+Death+Penalty+Debates&qid=1706018613&sprefix=steven+gosney+death+penalty+debates%2Caps%2C93&sr=8-1