Colbert on Trump Ballot Ruling: I Declare the Supreme Court Unconstitutional

COLBERT: “The big story today is the Supreme Court once again shoving their gavels up the election. Longtime viewers of America will remember that Colorado kicked Trump off the ballot because of the whole launching a violent coup so he could stay in office, violating the 14th Amendment’s insurrection clause. Well, today, the Supreme Court said Trump can stay on all state ballots in a unanimous ruling.
(Audience booing)
I agree. It is a ruling that I will remind you no one has to follow, because last week I declared the Supreme Court unconstitutional.
(Cheering and Applause)
You’re getting that right? Fact check that one. I did that, right? So, states, feel free to kick him off your ballot — tell ’em Colbert said it was okay. I got your back. You’re dealing with me now. That was just the Constitution. You’re dealing with me now. Now, the justices claim that since different states have different standards for what would qualify as insurrection, conflicting state outcomes would lead to chaos. Yes, the Supreme Court knows you can’t just let states decide who goes on their ballots. States are too busy deciding that life begins in the freezer section, next to the pearl onions. You know, life.
(Cheering and Applause)
So, anyway, here’s the SCOTUS’ basic Rationale. The majority says that disqualifying a candidate for insurrection can only occur when Congress passes legislation. Okay, quick question: If Congress does decide to pass that legislation to disqualify a candidate for insurrection, what if he sends his mob to storm Congress to stop them from passing that legislation? Does that count as insurrection? Or do they have to pass more legislation about that before the next mob shows up? I’m just asking, because clearly you guys haven’t put any thought into any of this stuff.
(Cheering and Applause)
Okay? You gotta think it through. There’s steps. I’m just sayin’.”