Interracial Dating What Happen To Me

As a Black woman who does not limit herself to one race, I find that there can be beauty to interracial dating, but also a whole lot of complexity. I mean, let’s start with the simple nuances of dating in this day and age. Race aside, millennial dating can truly make you want to pull your hair out. The “talking phase,” the “situationships,” and the pervasiveness of dating apps make everything more blurred and inorganic than ever. After the oh-so-merciful match, boys (I call them boys intentionally) can slide into your DMs and say anything from “hey gorgeous” to “you’re so hot you can melt a cheeseburger.” But there’s another classic line for Black woman: “I’ve never dated a black girl before.” Here comes the exotification.

The intent of a comment like this is to state that because of the color of your skin, you already come with a different experience. But instead of your experience, it’s an experience for the guy. Black women have been exotified since slavery, and these notions have carried throughout the current dating experience. Rather than being interested in dating the person themselves, people become intrigued to date their race or ethnicity. When that comment is brought up early in the conversation, it’s pretty much a red flag that the person’s intention is not to date me, but “the black girl.”
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