Everything falls apart...

I wanted to thank you for your support. Today Kaja, the duck from the movie, went missing and I am very sad. I have been struggling with deep depression for many years, I try to hide it, but every time I lose an animal it gets worse. My father is an alcoholic and he abused my family, when I had to come back to this house, it was very hard for me. Due to health reasons and low profits from work, I cannot afford an apartment. When I came back here, my condition got much worse, I was saved by animals, I can't afford medicines and therapy and I have no insurance.
Yesterday my father threatened to destroy the chicken coop because I don't allow myself to be manipulated like others do and I pretend that I'm not afraid of him, I don't do what he says, and he doesn't like it when someone doesn't listen to his orders. And today my duck, which I liked very much, disappeared. The world is unfair. It doesn't matter that I paint, write and have many talents, it's all for nothing, if you don't have support, all you can do is wait and die. I don't have anyone to tell about it, that's why I'm writing this, if I stopped publishing, please know that it was nice to meet you and I could buy animal feed with the money from the movies. You know, we have a field, but my father throws away plastic there and nothing grows well. He recently sold the wheat that grew there and told me that I should give less to the chickens or buy it for myself. He eats the most eggs from these hens. Life is so unfair, I often think that I wish I had never been born. My life is worthless and its hell.