The Sensei Steven Seagal Workout

Who wouldn't want to learn the international CIA secret agent murder machine workout crafted by the only 7th Dan Aikido black belt who is a quarter Russian, quarter Ukrainian, quarter Italian, quarter black, he's black, quarter Irish, quarter thai, quarter Chinese, quarter Asian, quarter Australian, quarter American, quarter Japanese, quarter Californian, quarter New Orleans, quarter Bayou, quarter greatest guitar player ever, quarter greatest martial artist ever, greatest writer ever, quarter greatest guitar player ever, quarter greatest American CIA, secret agent murder machine ever, quarter best actor of all time, quarter best speaker, best kicker, best sexual dynamo, best sensei, best eater, best female beast inseminator, best walker, best reader, best cursive handwritten, best immaculate conception-er, better than Jesus, he's the best demigod, god, and immortal, duh.
Best ultimate fighting champion MMA master, best instructor, best teacher, best scientist, best quarter Native American, best quarter, best quarter Aztec, best quarter Canadian, best quarter Alaskan, best quarter Ohioan & best quarter Michigan-gander, best father, best mother...inseminator, aw yeah....best father figure to all women under the age of 21, best dancer, best diplomat, greatest mind...melter, greatest SNL performer, greatest slapped and comedian, best quarter Mississippian...for the greatest workout discipline ever devised by man or alien it's just three easy payments of $99.99. There's no sexual harassment included in that but you will get a seventh Dan aikido black belt: you to can be a seventh day Adventist and Dan aikido master.