The Ballad of the Hiker Box

Too many songs are "Oh the noes!!! Thru hiking is so hard!!!"
I decided that what was needed was more religion and profanity...and nutrition.

I ain’t got much money I got even less taste
And I’m not the kind of guy who will let bad food go to waste.
Now I’m pretty hungry I’m a desperate man
The general store may be closed for the night but I got a back-up plan

Thank God for the Hiker box saved my ass this time
Thank God for all of you poor planners who left all this great shit behind
Thank God for the Hiker box food ‘til next Tuesday
Thank God for the hiker box didn’t even have to pay

Found an old pack of ramen noodles that almost turned to powder
A freeze-dried brand I never heard of …. some vegan-ish corn chowder
Something labeled in Korean looks like dehydrated eel
Some jerky made in Canada—tastes like baby harp seal!

An unlabeled baggie of white powder it’s either electrolyte or cocaine
It tasted kind of bitter, but it sure helped with my foot pain
A couple of used Chapsticks…,they taste better than you might think
A heaping tablespoon of vegemite that I can add to a hot drink

Thank God for the Hiker box saved my ass this time
Thank God for all of you poor planners who left all this great shit behind
Thank God for the Hiker box food ‘til next Wednesday
Thank God for the hiker box didn’t even have to pay

got a block of mozzarella cheese with a bite taken out both ends
17 packets of Subway mustard…breakfast of champions
Some pasta mixed with Parmesan. That smells like hiker feet
A can of little Friskies cat food 200 calories of meat!!

A bag of freeze-dried haggis and a can of spotted dick
Those Brit’s sure eat some weird food hope I don’t get sick
Found a rusty can of curried Spam hiding underneath a shelf
And a package of hamburger helper. I think it does just fine by itself

Thank God for the Hiker box saved my ass this time
Thank God for all of you poor planners who left all this great shit behind
Thank God for the Hiker box food ‘til next Thursday
Thank God for the hiker box didn’t even have to pay

Now there’s there’s a sad and lonely Ziploc at the bottom of the pile
It’s labeled 2017. Guess it’s been here for a while,
It’s some fat-free, oat-free oatmeal with bits of some alleged fruit.
It’s just what I was looking for. Gonna add it to my loot.

Thank God for the Hiker box saved my ass this time
Thank God for all of you poor planners who left all this great shit behind
Thank God for the Hiker box food ‘til next Friday
Thank God for the hiker box no matter what people say

So remember …Hiker box your own hiker box