I Hate Being Lonely And I Hate Being Used More Prod. $lit Wriztz

Second track on my upcoming Ep, "The Caring Cynic"
Prod. $lit Wriztz: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmGNJBvyiAEKnYXmmUVHMOQ
How to contact him: www.facebook.com/justen.smail.39
Lyrics: Can you really blame my skepticism
some friends have motives so I kept a distance
Everyones for themselves im no expectation with this
but im lonely crying im a mess in the basement

where were you mutiple months ago
What you want actually i dont wanna know
I dont wanna lie but im pinocio once it grows
Im being polite so i got a bunch more nose

bad Friends want me to jump in to help like geronamo
everyone make a line, knock em down like dominos
Wanna knock some teeth out like abominable
I got a kind heart that makes me vunerable

They butter me up like im on a roll
study this song till you make honor roll
When i say lets hang messages are igonred
I feel like im being eaten alive by carnivores

My life keeps feeling like a carnival more
Cause everyone fucking leaves when they are bored
Yeah, I know I know you keep saying youre busy
But your not when you wanna get shit from me

Thankful for the friends that call just to listen to each other
Spend time with me and kick it like kyles freaking brother
Maybe you can ask for some favors then
Till then im sheading your trust cause its paper thin

Right now i mostly hang with my caseworker
And thats fake cause its a paid service to her
Beefs so lonely he could make a second remix
It was bad before now covid aint helpin him a bit

Im not perfect, I need to reach out more
But i got denied more than i can count for
maybe im dramatic but i have doubt sure
Youtubes my social life i had to out source

my kindness isnt something i gotta valge for
All the time in the world but i still gotta salvage more
I need to stop complaing and arrange the hangouts
To be honest i never even leave my dang house

I admit i dont even use my calander
How can i have friends when i dont allow them here
And Theres gray areas im definitly not perfect
And some friends will hate me if they heard this

Im just a human
I'll just get used then
At least i have a few friends
autism makes Communication a nusance

Jobs and college makes me wanna hang a noose and
How can i meet anyone new then
a couple Good friends im loosing them
cause Trust issues refuse them

Im stuck doing youtube again
Fuck saying my thoughts just use a pen
On the grind so I loose my friends
My inner thoughts refuse to end

Im sick of feeling lonely
People really control me
like a lawn chair im folding
Watch most of em leave boldly

I'll keep the good ones closely
And not wait for them to phone me
Some people fake like gold teeth
ill Keep that on lock like golde

And they chosey when they eat the porage
Give a mouse a cookie they want more of it
I'll just stay lonely why are you confused for?
I Hate being lonely and I hate being used more