Vote For Six Headed Zombie Hitler To Stop Seven Headed Zombie Hitler

Vote For Six Headed Zombie Hitler To Stop Seven Headed Zombie Hitler

July 24, 2024

U.S. IMPERIALISM - FOLLOW THE MONEY

Caitlin Johnstone

LOOK, I’M NOT SAYING SIX-HEADED ZOMBIE HITLER IS PERFECT

Jack: So have you given any thought to who you’re going to vote for in November?

Jill: Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it a lot actually. I think I’m gonna sit this one out, or maybe vote third party.

Jack: What?? Don’t you know democracy is on the line this election?? Jill, this is the most important election of our lifetimes!

Jill: Jack they say that every election.

Jack: But this time it’s true, Jill! Seven-Headed Zombie Hitler wants to commit genocide and take over the world!

Jill: So does his opponent, Six-Headed Zombie Hitler.

Jack: Look, I’m not saying Six-Headed Zombie Hitler is perfect, but come on! He’s obviously WAY better than Seven-Headed Zombie Hitler! Sometimes you just have to vote for the lesser evil.

Jill: It’s not even clear to me that Six-Headed Zombie Hitler is meaningfully less evil than Seven-Headed Zombie Hitler, Jack! I mean, Six-Headed Zombie Hitler is really, really evil! What about all that genocide and imperialism he’s been supporting?

Jack: Okay but do you want all that genocide and imperialism to be perpetrated by a Zombie Hitler with even more heads? Just imagine how much worse it could get with that extra Zombie Hitler head added into the mix!

Jill: But Jack, doesn’t it feel kind of silly to even be debating this stuff anymore? At some point don’t we have to stop acting like the election results are the problem, when the real problem is clearly a system that’s so corrupt and undemocratic that it now forces us to choose between being ruled by undead Nazi hydra monsters with six heads or seven heads?

Reading by Caitlin Johnstone and Tim Foley

Article with supporting links: https://caityjohnstone.medium.com/vote-for-six-headed-zombie-hitler-to-stop-seven-headed-zombie-hitler-9052cb3096bf

Original: https://youtu.be/Yvj8kjov7Ko

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I write about the end of illusions. 100% reader-funded writer. All works co-authored with my American husband Tim Foley.

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