Episode 3 : Baldur's Gate | Retro Games | #RumbleTakeover

We're playing the one that started it all in 1997, The Original Baldur's Gate enhanced edition! Did they keep Imowen as annoying the original? Does Boo still go for the eyes?! Let's find out!

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DM – “Galstaff, you have entered the door to the North. You are now by yourself, standing in a dark room. The pungent smell of mildew eminates from the wet dungeon walls.”
Fridge Raider – “Where are the Cheetos?”
DM – “They’re right next to you!”
Galstaff – “I cast a spell!”
Fridge Raider – “Where’s the Mountain Dew?”
DM – “In the fridge, DUH!”
Galstaff – “I wanna cast a spell!”
Fridge Raider – “Can I Mountain Dew?”
DM – “YES! You can have a Mountain Dew, just go get it!”
Galstaff – “I can cast any of these, right? On the list?”
DM – “Yes, any of the first level ones.”
Fridge Raider – “I’m gonna get a soda, anyone want one? Hey Grimm, I’m not in the room, right?”
DM – “What room??”
Galstaff – “I wanna cast ‘magic missile…'”
Fridge Raider – “The room where he’s casting all these spells from.”
DM – “He hasnt’ cast anything yet!”
Galstaff – “I am though, if you’d listen. I’m casting ‘magic missile!'”
DM – “Why are you ‘magic missile’? There’s nothing to attack here.”
Galstaff – “I… I’m attacking The Darkness!!”

(all laugh)

DM – “Fine! Fine! You attack ‘The Darkness’. There’s an elf in front of you.”
Galstaff – “Woah!”
Blue Eyes – “That’s me, right?”
DM – “He’s wearing a brown tunic and he has grey hair and blue eyes.”
Blue Eyes – “No I don’t, I have grey eyes.”
DM – “Let me see that sheet.”
Blue Eyes – “Well, it says I have blue but I decided I wanted grey eyes!”
DM – “Whatever! Okay, you guys can talk to each other now if you want.”

(silence)

Galstaff – “Hello.”
Grey Eyes – “Hello.”
Galstaff – “I am Galstaff, Sorceror of Light.”
Grey Eyes – “Then how come you had to cast ‘magic missile’?”

(laughs)

DM – “You guys are being attacked.”
Fridge Raider – “Do I see this happening?”
DM – “NO! You’re outside by the tavern!”
Fridge Raider – “Cool! I get drunk!”
DM (sighs) – “There are 7 ogres surrounding you.”
Galstaff – “How can they surround us? I had ‘Mordencaiden’s magical watchdog’ cast.”
DM – “No, you didn’t!”
Fridge Raider – “I’m getting drunk! Are there any girls there?”
Galstaff (angry) – “I totally did! You asked me if I wanted any equipment before this adventure and I said no but I need material components for all my spells so I cast ‘Mordencaiden’s faithful watchdog’.”
DM – “But you never actually cast it.”
Fridge Raider – “Roll the dice to see if I’m getting drunk!”
DM (sighs and rolls rice) – “Yeah! You are!”
Fridge Raider – “Are there any girls there?”
DM (annoyed) – “Yeah!”
Galstaff – “I did though! I completely said when you asked me.”
DM (more annoyed) – “No, you didn’t! You didn’t actually say that you were casting the spells so now there’s ogres, okay?!”
Fridge Raider – “Ogres?! Man, I got an ogre-slaying knife! It’s got a +9 against ogres!”
DM (angry) – “You’re not there! You’re getting drunk!”
Fridge Raider – “Okay but if there’s any girls there, I want to jolt/choke them!”

***