The Kobayashi Maru of Meaningless Social Media Discourse

My Dearest Earthlings,

When all is said and done, this could easily endure as my greatest contribution to your species because very much how Captain Kirk figured out how to beat the infamous Kobayashi Maru test, I too have devised a solution for an even more hopeless, no-win situation.

We've all had the following happen: You post something on social media and if it runs counter to the prevailing corporate media consensus, you'll invariably get some random Conformity Culture Vulture who sees it as their civic and moral duty to chastise you for your transgressions regardless of how well sourced your information may be.

Typically, they'll leave some sort of snarky comment before scurrying off under the floorboards from whence they came which puts you in some very difficult, impossible to navigate terrain. If you ignore them, they get to feel like they had the last word and put you firmly in your place, but if you respond to them, then you get to feel like a dickhead for engaging with an idiot.

It's a NO-WIN scenario!

Until now, that is....

Cinephobia Radio comes to the rescue!

Here's what I came up with: Rather than engaging directly with these submental morons and their feeble-minded regurgitations of corporate media talking points, and thus feeling rather slimed and wretched in the process, from henceforth and herein, I will simply send them a link to the following snippet of glorious Cinephobia Radio spoken word brilliance.

The snippet in question will simply explain to them in clear and precise English why it's meaningless for me to perpetuate any level of discussion with such individuals because, well, it IS meaningless. You can't break through the cognitive dissonance of any partisan deranged lunatic, especially the Conformity Culture Vultures. The very soul of their identities is predicated upon screaming the corporate consensus talking points from the rooftops of the world and then aggressively attacking anyone who refuses to play along.

Now I realize that for many of you, especially any mature and sophisticated individuals of a more progressive liberal persuasion, you may not feel comfortable being so openly hostile to the Vultures as I am. But that's okay. You don't have to be. You can simply send them a link to the same audio clip with the qualifier, "I think you'll find this illuminating."

Very much how Jesus died for your sins, allow me to take the hit on this one. I don't mind being the bad guy. I want the Conformity Culture Vultures to know how much I despise them. And for good reason. They are the very engine that has driven every single human on human atrocity throughout history, whether we're talking the European Witch Trails, Nazi Germany, the McCarthyist Red Scare or the CoronaPanic. They will invariably pop up like a hideous game of whack a mole, so allow me to be the rubber mallet that squishes their brainless skulls into pancakes!

This is a plight that has tormented mankind ever since the very first telephone modem made noisy contact with an IBM computer bulletin board system. But not anymore. The suffering is finally over!

So you're welcome, humans. You're welcome.

This excerpt was taken from Cinephobia Radio #033:
THE VELVET BUZZSAW 3 in 3D!

For the complete episode, visit:
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